General Hi im looking for some suggestions on how to help a friend dealing with CPTSD

Jr073085

New Here
Hi I'm trying to help a friend who has needless to say has had a rough go at life.

She has trauma dating back to her childhood, ie mother would leave kids alone while she did whatever she felt to do. Told her daughter that her father was a terrible person didnt want to be there for his kids (which she didnt find out that it was bs until she was an adult)

She was abused and raped by her older brother. She applied for a job traveled a long distance from home to find out the job she flew across the continent to apply for was a sex trade ring that she barely escaped... only to find her family had packed up and moved when she returned from that nightmare.

She has never experienced a relationship that was not abusive either mentally or physically. She became pregnant tried to abort as she didnt want a child as she felt how can she properly raise a child when shes as damaged as she is. But was never able to abort the pregnancy. She has been suicidal for let's say the past 10 years.

She lost 1 boyfriend to a fentanyl overdose that she blames her self for as she kicked him out of her house the night he od'd... she had a second boyfriend die of a fentanyl overdose in her bathroom while she was living at a hotel which she was accused of causing... her mother gave her brother a 2 bedroom apartment for himself while she knew her daughter was escorting to pay for a hotel room and paid for her daughters needs... and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Recently she felt she had enough support in place for her daughter that she could seek help via calling 911 and explaining she was going to end her life... she was so calm about all of this that she wasn't taken seriously... and was sent home...

I've been trying to help her since she came back from the hospital, I'm there as an ear to listen, I help take care of her daughter, I help with household chores and meal prep... but she says she doesn't feel cared for... she will not attend appointments with a psychologist that she was referred to when she was leaving the hospital...

And I dont know what else I can do to help... because she feels like shes not cared for and i understand caring for someone may have diffrent meaning for people, so i asked her what she would need me to do so she felt cared for and she refused to tell me, so i contacted an old friend of hers for some insight as to what I might try and she took that as an attack against her...

I want to help I dont want her to hurt herself... does anyone have any suggestions on something I can try to make her feel cared for and all around help her in some way... I care deeply about her and she says shes about to experience a mental breakdown... I want to help her push through this... any suggestions would be appreciated
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
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You sounds like a very nice person.

She has to want help :/ sorry I don't have more advice. Someone else will soon I'm sure! If I ts any consolation I'll be praying for her.
 

Sweetpea76

Moderator
And I dont know what else I can do to help...

You cannot be responsible for somebody else’s mental health. You cannot fix this or make her better.

does anyone have any suggestions on something I can try to make her feel cared for and all around help her in some way...

Here’s the thing. This is a symptom, not something that can be solved by just “doing the right thing.” You could tell her you love her 24/7 while simultaneously carving a statue of her in ivory and hand feeding her grapes… she still wouldn’t feel loved.

Welcome to mental health. Supporters cannot help, fix, or make it better. We can just love, support, and accept.
 
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