Dharmabum23
New Here
Hi my name is John and I am new to this forum
I suffer from PTSD and Social Anxiety Disorder, I was sexually abused at the age of seven by my older brother, it was not a one time occurence, it lasted over a 1 year period.
I've never really talked about it with anybody, well my parents knew about it but they chose not to talk to me about it, I just learned to block it all away. My parents went on as if nothing happened, he was still revered in our family, invited to all family events and even lived with us when he and his wife were down on there luck. For a while I hated them for still making me be friendly to him, but I just learned to put all the memories away . I haven't thought about it for a while but just about 2 years ago I started suffering from violent nightmares, kicking in my sleep, waking up in a cold sweat, unable to breathe, and I am seeing his face in everything I do. I have not been able to focus on anything, I lost my job and was pretty much forced to move back in with my parents. I am currently 24 years old and I have had these nightmares almost every night I don't know how to stop them, I have also had visions of suicide and extreme fits of rage. I stopped seeing a psychatrist about a year ago becuase I cannot afford it and my parents don't know about my disorder I have chosen to keep it a secret from them, they just think I am mad all the time and they don't know why. I also don't have many friends, everytime I am in a large group of people I suffer an anxiety attack, being online seems to be the only way I can communicate with people, I just thought this forum might help me get some of these things off my chest. I know that I have to start on some kind of road to recover, so any help or advice you can give me would be great, I don't know what to do, I have no family support I am out in sea by myself
I suffer from PTSD and Social Anxiety Disorder, I was sexually abused at the age of seven by my older brother, it was not a one time occurence, it lasted over a 1 year period.
I've never really talked about it with anybody, well my parents knew about it but they chose not to talk to me about it, I just learned to block it all away. My parents went on as if nothing happened, he was still revered in our family, invited to all family events and even lived with us when he and his wife were down on there luck. For a while I hated them for still making me be friendly to him, but I just learned to put all the memories away . I haven't thought about it for a while but just about 2 years ago I started suffering from violent nightmares, kicking in my sleep, waking up in a cold sweat, unable to breathe, and I am seeing his face in everything I do. I have not been able to focus on anything, I lost my job and was pretty much forced to move back in with my parents. I am currently 24 years old and I have had these nightmares almost every night I don't know how to stop them, I have also had visions of suicide and extreme fits of rage. I stopped seeing a psychatrist about a year ago becuase I cannot afford it and my parents don't know about my disorder I have chosen to keep it a secret from them, they just think I am mad all the time and they don't know why. I also don't have many friends, everytime I am in a large group of people I suffer an anxiety attack, being online seems to be the only way I can communicate with people, I just thought this forum might help me get some of these things off my chest. I know that I have to start on some kind of road to recover, so any help or advice you can give me would be great, I don't know what to do, I have no family support I am out in sea by myself