Sufferer Hi, I'm new, overthinking this title, and working through EMDR

laur7

New Here
Hi, I'm Lauren, 34 years old. I just joined this site because I've been having an especially hard time this week. I have PTSD from years of childhood trauma and abuse. I've been seeing a therapist and working through EMDR for the past few months. I believe it's working overall, but last week we started in on my highest rated SUD memory and it was hard. I knew it would be hard in the session but since then I have been really off, unmotivated, completely lost myself and who I am (if that makes any sense), etc and I don't know if it's all the EMDR or just general depression or what. I have such trouble verbalizing my feeling/thoughts but I've never talked with anyone else who "gets it". Hoping this will help 🤞
 

JGirl

Confident
Hi @laur7. Your title made me laugh. I never know what to put either.

I find that hard EMDR sessions can be draining and make me feel off for a bit. My therapist always tells me to plan nothing right after and to drink lots of water.

I compare sessions to a broken bone. The session itself is like having the doctor re-brake a bone that wasn't healing properly. It hurts like hell and makes it more painful for a while. But after the session, the healing keeps happening, and day by day the healing happens.

I am glad that you found this forum. I am pretty new myself and have found it very helpful to know that other people experience similar things. It is so sad that we all need to be here.
 
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Lucycat

Sponsor
Hi @laur7 and welcome to the forum. I had EMDR a number of years ago and remember how much hard work it was. But it did help and I’m glad I stuck with it. Just be kind to yourself and take it easy after each session.
 

laur7

New Here
Hi @laur7. Your title made me laugh. I never know what to put either.

I find that hard EMDR sessions can be draining and make me feel off for a bit. My therapist always tells me to plan nothing right after and to drink lots of water.

I compare sessions to a broken bone. The session itself is like having the doctor re-brake a bone that wasn't healing properly. It hurts like hell and makes it more painful for a while. But after the session, the healing keeps happening, and day by day the healing happens.

I am glad that you found this forum. I am pretty new myself and have found it very helpful to know that other people experience similar things. It is so sad that we all need to be here.
I love the broken bone analogy. Turning it into something tangible like that is actually quite helpful ☺️
 

Wendell_R

MyPTSD Pro
Congratulations on being brave about exploring your hardest memories and putting your therapy experiences into words here.

Being tired and feeling wiped out is a common side effect of EMDR. For me, I experience exhaustion and a bit of a fog. That usually goes away in a day or so for me. Stirring up old memories can be much more disruptive for me. It's important to say what you're experiencing to your therapist, both so you can take care of yourself and so the therapy sessions stay within your range of tolerance.
 

Sues

MyPTSD Pro
EMDR is such hard work. I often feel it for a while afterward. My therapist always tells me, "Self care, eat and get lots of rest." Often I'm dealing with a lot of emotion and other memories that decide to come up afterward, so I can relate to what you're going through and say it's normal. I know it gets better, but we also take breaks periodically for a week or two at a time. Also, if something is super stressful at work or in my life, then we might put it off for another week as well.

Just remember that slow is best, and it takes as long as it takes.
 

laur7

New Here
Thank you ❤️ Honestly just hearing from everyone that it’s normal has made me feel much more at ease. It’s hard to distinguish what’s PTSD, what’s EMDR, what’s any other issue I could have - anxiety/depression, what’s pandemic life, and what’s just my personality.
 
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