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Hi - Mentally, Physically and Sexually Abused

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New Here
Well never went on anything like this before not even a chat room.
so here is my story, I have been diagnosed with PTSD it is from my childhood well really from 2 months old I have been able to remember. and all trough my first marriage. I have had so much abuse in my life physically, sexually but what does stick to me the most is mental. I have memories comming in all the times by flash back. All these I started remembering little by little about 5 years ago when I married my second husband and for the first time in my life
I felt safe. So all just started in flashback, and depression and anxiety
I have bad panic attack and see a councelor every 2 weeks.
Well i guess that is enough for now about me
If you have any question or have a story similiar to mine please let me know so we can talk
Hi G-Girl,

Welcome to the forum. I know it can sometimes be a bit daunting, but as you have probably already read here, we are here to help one another, and it is certainly doing that. Talking about the problems we all have, helps us keep our PTSD in check... most of the time, but bottling it up, makes us all very difficult people to live with. There are people here who have PTSD from violence, war, sexual, family, etc etc... quite a wide variance.

Discarding the problem (for a minute) how you got PTSD, the fact is, that you have PTSD, which means you, me and all others here with PTSD all suffer the same consequences daily, the same reactions, feelings, ups and downs, depression, anxiety, anger and so forth. The symptoms never change, just the trauma that provoked the symptoms.

It is always sad to continually hear of all the people coming forward with this illness, as I would neve wish it upon my worst enemy to be honest. I would rather just put a bullet in them than have them live with PTSD for the rest of their life.

You coming here and saying hello, automatically says that you are quite strong, willing and determined to beat this thing the best you can. I congratulate you for doing so, and really hope we can provide some support and more to the point, understanding of what your going through.

As being diagnosed with PTSD, then you may or may not know all the [DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread6.html"]symptoms of PTSD[/DLMURL] (link to them). From what I know, it has always been easier to talk with someone with PTSD, than a counsellor, friend, family member, physch, etc etc, as none of them actually know what we go through on a daily basis, what we feel, nor understand why some try (some succeed) in suicide. The sheer turmoil that we deal with and attempt to control is astounding... hence why PTSD is the only illness recognised by Defence organisations along side losing body parts. Saying that though, counsellors, social workers and physch's do have their place in our rehabilitation, as they know the professional side of things that we don't. For some, counselling works, others physch's, others PTSD affected, etc etc. A healthy combination is probably the best, but hey... who really knows!

PTSD symptoms not kept in control, honestly are just as dangerous to the people around us, as is ourselves. Just from your post, I can see symptoms of PTSD, ie. brief to the point, not too much (lack of trust), etc etc... I guess I'm getting like my doctors... they can pick someone with PTSD before even saying a word... hence nobody trying to fool them ever gets past. PTSD is a life, not just an illness. I honestly wish we could be cured... but the fact is we can't.

I guess the healthy part about coming here, is that you can talk with others who have the same day to day experiences as you... we all know what each other is feeling (to a point) and experiencing with their symptoms. The symptoms just don't change, the only variance is which ones mainly affect you.

I think its great that your seeking regular councelling, as it is definately required early in the piece, though I'm not sure how long you have been diagnosed and seeking help. The best thing is, is that atleast you know why you do some of the things you do, what is going on inside you, and what you can do to help you.

You can vent here, 24/7, chat about the good and bad times... anything goes. This place is here to help us all, not necessarily provide the type of advice that you may get from a counsellor, but more the type of advice from personal experience... which is generally a pretty good type of advice.

The thing that always comes back to me about professional counselling, and why it doesn't work for me, is when they did an experiment and sent a group of social workers to the frontline to see first hand what soldiers saw, and done, thus hopefully giving them an idea of what those soldiers with PTSD where experiencing! All those members of the group got PTSD, some killed themselves, some are just a total mess and some in the nut house. It has always been said that people can't understand PTSD unless they experience it themselves, and I believe that totally true from that failed experiment.

Anyway, bored you and rambled long enough... I hope some of this helps you understand about this place, and what we can do for you, and you do for us. Sometimes just posting... others with PTSD are reading and learning from your experiences... and some here have definately gained a lot of help just from chatting. It really is as easy as that... and I hope to chat with you lots more.

Bye for now... please tell us more.
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Sharing your story

g-girl said:
If you have any question or have a story similiar to mine please let me know so we can talk
I do have a similiar story g-girl...18 years of physical..sexual..emotional[mental?] during the years of 2 until 20....then I married an abusive guy....I got out of that relationship after 11 years...and I did it more for my son[then 10]...my now ex shoved my kid [he was ours--I raised him alone from 10 years on---plus I was there for him to fill in the gaps when his dad threw up his hands and stated that he could not be a father] I called my FOO members and told them to get me an apartment as I was going to move out the next AM and I did!....I can really sense your pain!!!! I do have a gentle spirit to listen to you...Please feel free to contact me any time!!! .........wildfirewildone
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