Omg right?!?! I'd say try YouTube, but the discipline and "theory" is as important as the motions. Tai Chi may help? That feels pretty replicate via YouTube... :/Thanks MnM, I bought some books on Russian Systema last year.
If these neverending lockdowns and curfews let up I would love to attend in-person lessons, I really admire Mikhail Ryabko and want to learn from his students.
Omg right?!?! I'd say try YouTube, but the discipline and "theory" is as important as the motions. Tai Chi may help? That feels pretty replicate via YouTube... :/
Have you found a cult exit councelling for kids born and raised within a cult? I believe that is the root of all. What a horrible horrible experience...!! So sorry.
You have done incredibly well by yourself. I recognized on myself that roiling anger and the flashbacks, but I am under medication now, so half dumb.Alas, no. *Any* counselling is beyond my financial ability, and although we have a putative "public" health system in this country, its ineptitude is matched only by its corruption.
My abusers took full advantage of this. I successfully fought for justice after nearly two decades of wrong prescriptions and abusive treatment, only to be rewarded a laughably minuscule amount of compensation.
This has been a solo journey, and the solitude is starting to sting.
In the past I would dutifully swallow the neverending pills and marinate in private suicidal thoughts as I trudged semi-successfully through life, devoid of any hope or meaning and secretly wishing for cancer or a runaway bus while suffering a litany of side effects.
Having my own children flipped the tables.
Thoughts of dying make no internal sense anymore and I am physically much healthier, but now it's 24/7 flashbacks and seething roiling anger, which is not any better.