DreamCatcher
New Here
Last November I went onto Medicare, but did not enroll for drug coverage.
Recently I tried to enroll for state assistance to get my prescriptions, because without them I have deteriorated quite badly.
I called and made the appt. I met the therapist for initial intake who added Borderline Personality Disorder to my diagnosis of PTSD. Made an appt to see him again. Also I got an appt to see a psychiatrist but had to wait a month for that.
On my second meeting with the therapist he immediately asked me to recollect abuse events. I cried a lot at both appts. I have very few memories of my entire childhood, and very few of the actual abuse.
Although I understand there is supposed to be some benefit to reliving these horrible things, I cannot. Or I guess if I' to be honest I WILL not. But I left the appt with the intention of cooperating because I need my prescriptions and I do want to get better.
So yesterday I went to see the psychiatrist to get my scripts. I checked in, paid, and waited in a room full of people for an hr and a half. By this time, my anxiety level was sky high. I asked how much longer and found they had not pulled my chart and passed it to the doc. When I was finaly called back I found that the "doctor" was a physician assistant, and had a student with her who seemed to feel the need to walk right behind me down the hall. In the appt I was asked the standard questions, which I answered while crying. I lied about using marijuana, which has been helping for the months that I haven't had meds. Then I had to ee the nurse, who took my blood pressure and promptly drug tested me.
This was too much. I left, went home in total panic, and called my old therapist. She convinced me to go back, which I did. When I got back, the "doc" told me I should be living in a cheaper place (my mortgage is 860 a month, and my disability payment is $1122, utilities average 200, doesn't leave much) she berated me in front of her student for failing my drug test, and said I wouldn't get meds if I failed again, and wrote a prescription for effexor and buspar which she said would be covered.
Back to the waiting room I go. Then she comes out and says that because I MIGHT be eligible for medicare part D they can't help with med payments, and tells me in the middle of the waiting room full of people that if I stopped spending money on "other things" I would be able to pay for this $280 worth of meds, which will keep me out of the hospital for ONE month.
Am I wrong to feel completely hopeless, humiliated, and totally enraged about this?
I don't want to go back there and cancelled all my future appts. I called my old T and asked if I could see her once a month, but she hasn't returned my call. I am paying out of pocket to see my old psychiatrist, which will use my entire $200 worth of savings.
3.5 yrs of treatment and I am in what feels like the worst place ever. I feel worthless, beyond help, and don't have much drive to carry on. I know that with meds I will feel better, so I am holding on, but this is terrible. No meds, no therapist, no family or support, just me and my dog. I just want to stay home.
Any advice or anything would be great.
Thanks all.
Recently I tried to enroll for state assistance to get my prescriptions, because without them I have deteriorated quite badly.
I called and made the appt. I met the therapist for initial intake who added Borderline Personality Disorder to my diagnosis of PTSD. Made an appt to see him again. Also I got an appt to see a psychiatrist but had to wait a month for that.
On my second meeting with the therapist he immediately asked me to recollect abuse events. I cried a lot at both appts. I have very few memories of my entire childhood, and very few of the actual abuse.
Although I understand there is supposed to be some benefit to reliving these horrible things, I cannot. Or I guess if I' to be honest I WILL not. But I left the appt with the intention of cooperating because I need my prescriptions and I do want to get better.
So yesterday I went to see the psychiatrist to get my scripts. I checked in, paid, and waited in a room full of people for an hr and a half. By this time, my anxiety level was sky high. I asked how much longer and found they had not pulled my chart and passed it to the doc. When I was finaly called back I found that the "doctor" was a physician assistant, and had a student with her who seemed to feel the need to walk right behind me down the hall. In the appt I was asked the standard questions, which I answered while crying. I lied about using marijuana, which has been helping for the months that I haven't had meds. Then I had to ee the nurse, who took my blood pressure and promptly drug tested me.
This was too much. I left, went home in total panic, and called my old therapist. She convinced me to go back, which I did. When I got back, the "doc" told me I should be living in a cheaper place (my mortgage is 860 a month, and my disability payment is $1122, utilities average 200, doesn't leave much) she berated me in front of her student for failing my drug test, and said I wouldn't get meds if I failed again, and wrote a prescription for effexor and buspar which she said would be covered.
Back to the waiting room I go. Then she comes out and says that because I MIGHT be eligible for medicare part D they can't help with med payments, and tells me in the middle of the waiting room full of people that if I stopped spending money on "other things" I would be able to pay for this $280 worth of meds, which will keep me out of the hospital for ONE month.
Am I wrong to feel completely hopeless, humiliated, and totally enraged about this?
I don't want to go back there and cancelled all my future appts. I called my old T and asked if I could see her once a month, but she hasn't returned my call. I am paying out of pocket to see my old psychiatrist, which will use my entire $200 worth of savings.
3.5 yrs of treatment and I am in what feels like the worst place ever. I feel worthless, beyond help, and don't have much drive to carry on. I know that with meds I will feel better, so I am holding on, but this is terrible. No meds, no therapist, no family or support, just me and my dog. I just want to stay home.
Any advice or anything would be great.
Thanks all.