Hit a Wall...I feel so stuck

Hi everyone......I feel so stuck in my recovery right now. I hit a major wall. I've tried so many things, and a few of them multiple times....IOP, PHP, residential/in-patient, EMDR, meds, outpatient therapy. I just feel like nothing is helping. Before, I felt like there were so many options available, and now I just feel terrible and like nothing is ever going to work for me. My symptoms are bad. I don't feel like a real person. And at this point, I hear of some kind of trauma treatment option and then it gets quickly shut down (either because of the cost or because they won't take me).

It's so disheartening. I'm sure others out there feel similarly. It just makes me feel so hopeless. Like I'm floating around in limbo.

Is there anything that you've tried that's actually been beneficial? That's actually done anything? I feel so broken and lost.
 

enough

MyPTSD Pro
been there, could have written the post. Have you been reading my mail?

two things that have had an EFFECT, lots of things that have had SIDE EFFECTS. the difference between side effect and effect is that an effect is assumed to be the target effect and thus is not a side effect. Yeah, BS. The effects I can say are positive are really only positive because I adapted and make them work for me. It all depends on you in the end. I could tell you what works for me but you would probably make a decision based on your ex[eriences and judge this whole reply against that framework of pre supposed ineffectiveness.
It is disheartening, alarming even. But there is hopefully going to be a useful effect in the bag of tricks and the right therapist combination that you can make work. You know why I think you should keep trying? Because it is the only thing that has ever worked for anyone. Don't throw out hope. If you search for nothing you will find it. Insert platitudes of relevance here.
Keep on, best to you and welcome to a great resource for us to compare our experiences on. Good start.
 

Friday

Moderator
The most effective things I’ve done are

- Setting up my life & routines to manage my stress levels (and when I’m really rocking out wih my cock out; to exquisitely manage), so I don’t even have to think about 80/90% of it, it simply happens, running in the background of my world... the only parts I have to actually apply consciously are when my stress upticks and I need to start deliberately blowing off steam that’s rising too fast. >>> One of the most immediately useful things I’ve ever come across in regards to that is THIS >>> The ptsd cup explanation

- Trigger myself on purpose to get a handle on / on top of / recover faster from panic attacks. It’s one of those things where if I’m only have a couple/few panic attacks a year, or month, or whatever? They can knock me out for days. But when I’m having dozens of them a day? Pfft. They can affect me for a few minutes or less. As my system may start to blast off, but I’ve got the skills in place to yank myself back down to earth by my collar, and voila! Go back about my business. So there’s a bit of a sweet spot in deciding to polish those skills back up.... there’s very little point in spending a few days triggering myself over and over if I’m only being effected a few times a year. But if my symptoms are up ticking? I also don’t want to wait until it’s already all day, every day, and wildly out of control. Of course, that does still happen, but it wastes a lot less time to get on top of shit before it gets that bad.

- Almost trigger myself /spike myself -on purpose- to start chipping away at, blunting, and eliminating triggers altogether. Which is a type of exposure therapy that’s focused on managing symptoms, rather than going after the root cause. More on (both of those) below.
Guidance For Using A Trauma Diary As Exposure Therapy
 
been there, could have written the post. Have you been reading my mail?

two things that have had an EFFECT, lots of things that have had SIDE EFFECTS. the difference between side effect and effect is that an effect is assumed to be the target effect and thus is not a side effect. Yeah, BS. The effects I can say are positive are really only positive because I adapted and make them work for me. It all depends on you in the end. I could tell you what works for me but you would probably make a decision based on your ex[eriences and judge this whole reply against that framework of pre supposed ineffectiveness.
It is disheartening, alarming even. But there is hopefully going to be a useful effect in the bag of tricks and the right therapist combination that you can make work. You know why I think you should keep trying? Because it is the only thing that has ever worked for anyone. Don't throw out hope. If you search for nothing you will find it. Insert platitudes of relevance here.
Keep on, best to you and welcome to a great resource for us to compare our experiences on. Good start.
Awesome reply. Thank you so much for that. "You know why I think you should keep trying? Because it is the only thing that has ever worked for anyone"....writing that one down

The most effective things I’ve done are

- Setting up my life & routines to manage my stress levels (and when I’m really rocking out wih my cock out; to exquisitely manage), so I don’t even have to think about 80/90% of it, it simply happens, running in the background of my world... the only parts I have to actually apply consciously are when my stress upticks and I need to start deliberately blowing off steam that’s rising too fast. >>> One of the most immediately useful things I’ve ever come across in regards to that is THIS >>> The ptsd cup explanation

- Trigger myself on purpose to get a handle on / on top of / recover faster from panic attacks. It’s one of those things where if I’m only have a couple/few panic attacks a year, or month, or whatever? They can knock me out for days. But when I’m having dozens of them a day? Pfft. They can affect me for a few minutes or less. As my system may start to blast off, but I’ve got the skills in place to yank myself back down to earth by my collar, and voila! Go back about my business. So there’s a bit of a sweet spot in deciding to polish those skills back up.... there’s very little point in spending a few days triggering myself over and over if I’m only being effected a few times a year. But if my symptoms are up ticking? I also don’t want to wait until it’s already all day, every day, and wildly out of control. Of course, that does still happen, but it wastes a lot less time to get on top of shit before it gets that bad.

- Almost trigger myself /spike myself -on purpose- to start chipping away at, blunting, and eliminating triggers altogether. Which is a type of exposure therapy that’s focused on managing symptoms, rather than going after the root cause. More on (both of those) below.
Guidance For Using A Trauma Diary As Exposure Therapy
So so grateful to you. Thank you for these resources. I haven't heard of a lot of this stuff. Intentional triggering sounds like an interesting concept. Might bring that up in therapy next week.
 

enough

MyPTSD Pro
just a little commiserating here. I feel stuck too right now. Circumstances have made it impossible to do any real work, even though I see my therapist weekly. I have been watching TED talks when I have time, but my time is so devoted to caring for my wife right now that even that is hard. Setting down a book and trying to get back to it was so frustrating, somehow hitting pause on a youtube video is easier. The TED talks by Brene Brown are generally about 20 minutes per idea and she is entertaining, also easy to stop and rejoin. It is helpful for me right now to keep out of my own mind so I can be available, but still doing something positive with the spare time I get.

Even when we feel stuck there are things you can do to make small steps forward, from stuck to moving again is a HUGE undertaking but momentum comes a little easier every time. The trick is to put in just enough effort when needed to keep the merry go round spinning, hope you can find some small, useful things to help stay unstuck.
 

Mach123

MyPTSD Pro
Hi thanks for this. Feeling semi unstuck right now. The main thing I’ve done is stopped feeling bad about myself because I’m stuck. This is a double edged sword because it seems to allow the behavior to continue and maybe it does, but I feel better. Feeling better I finally decided is the only way, regardless of what’s going on. I’d rather have things change so I’d feel better. I go back and forth and I have dark times. But sometimes it’s not SO dark. I’m a little depressed. It’s better than being a lot depressed.
 
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