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hit with the depression truck

Thread starter #1
Today I just...am done. Depression is overwhelming. My whole body feels fuzzy and achy at the same time, so does my brain, and last time I felt like that I got the flu, so obviously I'm also PANICKING that I'll catch COVID19, or even the flu again like last year. Most of my business was cancelled and I'm considering cancelling the rest. The whole isolation thing is getting to me. I'm also worried bc I've started to notice patterns, like hypomania and depressive episodes, in my month to month functioning. Maybe 2-3 weeks ago I was on the top of the world. Felt invincible. Felt beautiful, intelligent, awesome. Started a million projects. Loved everything I did. Now, the depression wave set in and I'm grasping to get through the day. Everything seems pointless. I know I should be excited about things and I do feel that under like 100 layers of sadness but it's not enough to motivate me. I had relapsed self harm wise a few days back bc my anxiety has also been so bad. But today, it's the depression.

Sorry if that didn't make sense. I'm struggling. thank you for reading.
 
Thread starter #4
@Ronin the anxiety hypomania mix I got down pretty well for the most part, other than relapsing on self harm recently. It’s probably the one I experience most. I usually do a lot of no-phone time periods and I play music on something I can’t contact people on lol (long way around saying record player), exercise, grounding and relaxation exercises, affirmations.

The depression I’m a little less experienced with. I know that exercising, being outside and getting dressed in something other than sweats and doing my makeup helps. I’ve been doing daily affirmations but I don’t feel like they’re true. I also like to watch movies and shows I’m familiar with but I have to set a timer or I’ll watch them all day. Taking lots of breaks to stretch.

I just wish I didn’t have to deal with this anymore. I know a lot of it is situational. The world right now, my current situation, my family’s situation. It’s just so much.
 
#7
Today I just...am done. Depression is overwhelming. My whole body feels fuzzy and achy at the same time, so does my brain, and last time I felt like that I got the flu, so obviously I'm also PANICKING that I'll catch COVID19, or even the flu again like last year. Most of my business was cancelled and I'm considering cancelling the rest. The whole isolation thing is getting to me. I'm also worried bc I've started to notice patterns, like hypomania and depressive episodes, in my month to month functioning. Maybe 2-3 weeks ago I was on the top of the world. Felt invincible. Felt beautiful, intelligent, awesome. Started a million projects. Loved everything I did. Now, the depression wave set in and I'm grasping to get through the day. Everything seems pointless. I know I should be excited about things and I do feel that under like 100 layers of sadness but it's not enough to motivate me. I had relapsed self harm wise a few days back bc my anxiety has also been so bad. But today, it's the depression.

Sorry if that didn't make sense. I'm struggling. thank you for reading.
Hey, I am in a similar situation. My physical self harm has been gone for about 8 months, but my motivation has for sure wavered. I struggle with periods of about 3 months being motivated and doing things vs crippling anxiety and depression. I was on this upward mood again after hospitalization and my parents divorce, when I healed a bit I started to be active. Now the coronavirus crisis happened, and it felt like divine intervention. I am not religious and I know this is not a personal f*ck you to me, yet it felt like it. But, i want to say to you that you are not alone, your emotions are valid. Things are not pointless; life is something we don’t know if we will ever experience again. Existential crisis is no stranger to me, I take a pill to fall asleep because the anxiety of death is too much for me. But, as long as you are here there is hope, and giving up means you might rob yourself of the good things to come. Give yourself a chance.

I am a bit late with this but wanted to say something anyway, since what you wrote really resonated with me. I don’t have many people around me who understand what I feel,and you really hit something in my feels.

I don’t know if any of this even made sense hahah sorry
 
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Thread starter #8
Thank you for your response @Questioning !! It’s just a rough time right now. I know a lot of people are experiencing this right now, especially those w PTSD and other serious mental illness. But it doesn’t feel real until someone says it to you personally. I dunno haha. I hope you can start to feel better too! We all just have to focus on one day at a time.
 
K

kvolm

#9
Thank you all. Today it was better until around noon. Right now I’m really feeling it and almost just laid down for some time but realized I’m not really tired. I have schoolwork to do and frustrated with the whole thing.
Glad to read that there was a bit of a reprieve earlier today. Hope you will experience that again tomorrow! This is whole social distancing/isolation is bringing a lot of extra burden to many of us but I really appreciate that you can hold on to the perspective that you are not alone in this and that taking it hour by hour/day by day is the way to get through. To me those are both very helpful reminders!
 
#10
I understand how you feel. I been having bodyaches, fuzzy brain and body along with vision, fatigue, and chills too. Messes with my head not knoeing if I caught cv19 or germies....or is it my stress response system going wacky. They do come in waves.

Trying to be mindful and ground myself. Sniffing lavedar 😀
 
Thread starter #12
Having a rough day with it again today. Strangely I woke up at 3am fully rested (only 5 hours of sleep) and when I went back to bed and woke up at 7/8 I feel like crap. My body aches so bad. Nothing is getting into my head. I tried to start my work and burst into tears. I’m stuck in another part of the house from my room bc work is done in our house. I just want to cry and do nothing but when I do that I feel worse. I don’t know what to do when it hurts this badly.
 
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