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Hitting send...

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BoN-bOn

MyPTSD Pro
Has anyone ever emailed your T in a moment of desperation, or feeling like you need to be heard, then felt incredibly embarrassed/needy for sending it? I have been very reluctant in therapy to open up at all, so when it all comes rushing out in an honest email I feel embarrassed. I don't want her to think of me as too needy, but maybe needy is what I need to be in order to learn how to address my needs in healthy ways.
 
About 100 times.
Opening up was always hard for me, too, and she came to appreciate knowing what was in my head. I just tried to be mindful and not do it too often, and part of the growth was expressing the message with my voice, even if it meant reading my written words.
 
Yes...this happened to me once recently..I was also severely intoxicated and I sent a text message that probably didn't make much sense? However...we talked about it next session and she was super understanding. I have a hard time with whether or not to reach out in between sessions, I am not sure what constitutes an "emergency"...
 
I did apologize and that got her to reply because she never did reply to my text message... But honestly you have nothing to apologize for. This is her job and she's an adult and she can choose whether or not to respond. Therefore, you sending the message in the first place and reaching out is not something to apologize for. (Wow its a lot easier to give this advice then take it... :p )
 
That was me this week. I've exchanged several emails with my T in the span of a week and usually I'll use email once a month at most. She always encourages me to write because I can get more out that way and we have more productive sessions. But my dissociation and self harm urges were super strong this week and just maintaining that connection got me through. And now I have to face her this evening and I'm feeling super embarrassed and needy. Because I'm not in the place I was when I emailed I can't see why I couldn't get through it myself. I hate feeling needy. But being really honest is so important and I think it's important for them to "see" us when we aren't ok. Particularly those of us who are reserved in sessions. I do nothing but smile and laugh through my sessions. Thank god for email.
 
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