• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

General Hold onto your hats...

Status
Not open for further replies.

Sighs

MyPTSD Pro
Remembrance Day is next weekend. That should put him in a foul mood until at least Christmas, which puts him in a spin until at least Australia Day which causes issues until at least mid Feb which is the first anniversary of the death of his service dog, which will be awfully hard until at least mid March which is the first anniversay of his father's death, which will be dreadful until Anzac Day which was literally the worst I've ever seen him last year, which leads into mid June which is the first anniversary of his mother's death.

I'm really not sure I can cope with the coming storm. :unsure::(:arghh;:banghead::notworthy:
 
ok ladies -- give me guidance.

I was going to do a new post but since you brought it up......

I have 4 anniversaries coming up over the next 4 months and a couple of them are intense. None are directly related to the holidays but timing puts them there and I can already feel myself getting all hypervigilant and isolatee (yes its a word! :)) To add to the fun this year a lot of my whys are coming out in counseling and I'm possibly going out on disability. Because why not add to the cup?

I think I do a good job of hiding it (feel free to laugh) and I can usually hold it together thru Christmas but January is ... let's go with bad. I haven't made it to a new years party or my nieces birthday in 3 years. I want to enjoy the holidays, but trying to plaster a happy face is getting harder and harder. And seeing how I'm already amping up I think this year is going to be tougher than usual. I'm pretty much dreading thanksgiving and its still a month away.

What can I do to make it easier on those around me? My brain says to hide, but I see lots of supporters saying that makes them feel bad. Mind don't seem to mind when I wander off and I'm generally not a screamer but I can get super sarcastic. (Hubby knows to kick me under the table when I go down that road.). It's hard to share my feelings because while my supporters know I've got ptsd I don't share why. Its just "my military career didn't go as planned" And no - there are no more conversations about that with them.

There really isn't anything they can do to help and they seem to be ok with that. Or at least that's what I thought until I started reading the supporter site. Now I wonder -- are they?

Thoughts??
 
@Freida, off the top of my head maybe you could share with your loved ones how you're feeling and what you need or don't need to get you through.

I let J decide what he wants to do for the holidays. He has a small family scattered across the country. I on the other hand have a big, loud, happy go lucky family which he is not used to. He comes to all the festivities but spends alot of time outside. Smoking. Walking the dogs. Doing perimeter checks. Etc. When he's ready to go, we go.

I'll think of more ideas and get back to you.

XO
 
I know there is nothing I can do to "help" him through his anniversary dates but if he could share some of his thoughts and feelings with me maybe (that's a big maybe)
the depression and lashing out would be manageable....
 
He comes to all the festivities but spends alot of time outside.

that's kind of what I do... use the dog as a reason to have to go outside. You would be amazed to see how many times he has to pee in an hour. Must be a weak bladder :D I've never thought that it had an impact on the people I'm with. My hubby and sisters are really good about giving me space, but the "other' family members are the ones I struggle with. They don't see me enough to be trusted, and they are way over interested in whats going on and why. Some want to help band others want gossip and I have to find a way to keep them away while still being polite. I've actually had one follow me around making stupid comments about the military and asking for my "opinion." Needless to say - I didn't handle that as well as I could have

he could share some of his thought and feelings with me

here's the challenge I have. If I say, "I'm sad" or "I'm angry" people want to know why and I can't tell them. Sometimes it's because I don't know what the trigger is and sometimes I know the trigger but can't talk about. I found this blogger a couple years ago and she made me cry because it was so dead on. I sent it to my sisters and it seemed to help explain that I'm not sharing because I don't want to but because I cant...

What do you do, when you just can’t talk about it?

Even if I want to share, there are some things I don't want them to know about me because, quite frankly, they wouldn't be able to deal. Even my job in 911 fell under that. People do not want to know what we really deal with every day. And that adds another layer of stress because I have to monitor what comes out of my mouth. So Ive got all these triggers going on, and I'm trying to keep a happy face and I'm feeling like i'm drowning and ........wow. look at me getting all wound up. Yep. hold on to your hats. ....
 
@Sighs oh you poor thing! I know how bad it is these days when I know its coming. I can't imagine how hard it was on those around me when it snuck up on me. Is he willing to do counseling? If so maybe they could focus on trying to work those out
 
I give my vet a get out of jail free card for the holidays. He doesn't have to make any appearances or do any celebrating other than in Jammies at home with my kids. He just can't. It's the recipe for instant dick, and it's kinder to both of us to just let him do him at that time of year and let me do the festivities and enjoy them.

It's something I've just accepted. He'll be starting his holiday funk shortly as well. Veterans Day will set him off and it'll last until February or so.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top