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Holidays re always ruined for me

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Super CoolTM

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Don't get me wrong, I still love my dad, even though he's abusive.
It's just... anything that's special to me is ruined by him somehow. He breaks my stuff (unintentionally) and wrecks EVERY good thing for me. I realized that that's the reason I automatically get depressed when something good happens.

For instance, just now for Halloween, I sat outside in my outfit to scare the children with the bowl of candy in my lap. We hyped it up so much, maybe it's my fault for being excited. I learned in the past to not have high expectations, or really at all, because every year it is ruined/disappointing.
My dad went into over drive and went out five or six times to constantly talk to me, "fix" things, and over all ruin it.
He knows as a fact I like to be left alone when doing things like this since I have a plan. Things that are "wrong" to him are usually on purpose. I explained to him in the past I like to be left alone and he needs to stop treating me like I'm a child, since I'm capable of taking care of myself.

I know that he cares for me and he does this because he loves me. I know that. But I'm just venting my frustrations since he constantly ignore my wishes, what I say, etc., and then gets frustrated and mad because "no one told him" or he's too dense to understand what people want.
 
I had a similar Halloween... ruined my fav holiday once again. We talked, days ago, about how he could handle his PTSD tonight. Then he ends up screaming at the barking dog and being grouchy with kids at the door. Deliberately blocking the door so I can’t see the costumes and then turning and smugly smiling at me. Makes me so very sick of dealing with his sh t every single day!
 
He knows as a fact I like to be left alone when doing things like this since I have a plan.
Sounds like he was being a good parent by checking up on you. Halloween can be dangerous for a teenage girl sitting outside alone. Was he talking to you or was he yelling at you and putting you down. If he was just talking to you, it is normal to be annoyed at your age, but I would try to rethink the part about him ruining it.
 
I am actually a boy, but thank you very much for the info! I know he loves me, I just get very overwhelmed easily
 
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