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Sufferer -Horrible Medical Trauma

LQB

New Here
Hello, Im new to this site. First I apologize for the long post, but I am deseprately seeking others who understand my medical trauma. I have accute medical trauma and fear and it rears its ugly head whenever I have to go doctors appointments and hospitals scare me to death. Any medical tests sends my blood pressure through the roof.

This is my story: I have had 3 traumatic emergency surgeries beginning with an emeregency appendectomy at 10 years old, emergency ceaserean surgery, at 23 and emeregency quadruple heart surgery at 45.

In addition, some 35 years ago, I had, what was supposed to be a simple stress test (with medicine, not on the treadmill) that turned into a near fatal experience. After the stress test my platelets dropped from a normal 150,000-450,000 down to an extremely dangerous near deadly 9,000. As a result I spent some 52 days in the hospital during the year 1987 (much of that time barely conscious) waiting for someone to put a label on and find a cure to what had made me deathly ill).

As it turned out, during the stress test, I was apparently allergic to the IV dye or something else used in the Stress Test and after painful bone marrow tests and many many many other examinations and assessments it was determined that I had contacted a rare blood disorder called Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura (TTP). I was 43 years old and my platelets etc were perfectly fine when I went in for what was called a "routine" stress test.

The next medical trauma was an emergency completely unexpected and scary quadruaple heart by-pass surgery about 10 years later. My latest medical trauma was that a routine blood test early last year discovered that I had contacted HepC, apparently from the 1987 blood transfusion that saved my life. (Docs say blood testing did not start until 1989). Anyway, the HepC lay dormant for some 35 years, during which time it caused my liver to be scarred, they believe the liver damage to be minimal. I was prescribed a 3-month regiment of meds which they said cured the hepC, and I have to be retested every 6 months or so (which think about and waiting for the results is almost unbareably traumatic).

Im fighting hard to keep my blood pressure down, but just yesterday docs determined that I need a heart cathe and possibly a stent so of course I'm all worked up and afraid again, YUK! So sorry for the long post, but I needed to tell my whole story.
 
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Wow! That was a lot to happen! I wish you luck on your cath. Are you working with anyone for your anxiety?
Yes, I finally realized after more than 30 years that I needed counseling, so I've been working with a therapist for about a month. However, I couldnt even talk to her about it until last week when I finally was able to let it all out

Yes, I finally realized after more than 30 years that I needed counseling, so I've been working with a therapist for about a month. However, I couldnt even talk to her about it until last week when I finally was able to let it all out
Thank you DharmaGirl for the best wishes for my cath
 
Medical trauma victim here, 2 years in very very very intense therapy and still no progress. This has truly ruined my life.

I get physical symptoms even opening a medical letter or form. I sweat and shake vigorously if I have to go into a doctors or hospital. My arms and hands cease up frozen and I scream in pain on journeys to any appointments.

I feel hopeless as I have had so so so much various therapy and I can’t stop this or get a break or improve things.

I have constant night terrors of anything medical related or dying or people dying. I simply cannot function. My medical traumas completely collapsed my entire life. I have been living dead for a few years now.

If I tell my family the truth that I won’t ever recover they say I am being negative. My therapists are surprised I am still alive since I have been through so much. I think their goal is simply to keep me alive and accept that my life won’t be the same not will I again
 
I am a victim of several medical traumas - both physical and psychiatric. As a result I was told by my neurologist that I have "PTSD on top of PTSD." My current method of dealing with it is to totally refuse any further medical treatment or be referred to any other specialists. Since I have several medical issues, this is a problem, but I'm managing, much to the dismay of my family doctor and my oldest daughter (a DBP specialist - a developmental behavioral pediatrician). I will have nothing to do with counselors for this problem because of the additional trauma they caused me.
 
I am new here. I have c-ptsd and medical ptsd. In 2015 I went on an online date (blind date). This person cut my forearm with a razor and I couldn’t understand it for the life of me why he would do something like that. I somehow remained calm and kept repeating that I needed to go to the hospital. It took several times to convince him that I needed to go. He kept making me agree to say certain things to the doctor if he took me. When I got to the hospital the towel I had on my arm was saturated and when the nurse talked me into letting go blood started going everywhere. This person cut my artery and they started prepping me for a blood transfusion. I kept asking for my phone to call my adult children, but of course my phone wasn’t at the hospital to call them and nor did he bring it. I felt at that moment that I wouldn’t be able to tell my kids I loved them again.I had 17 inner and outer sutures. When the doctor started the outer stitches I wasn’t numb when he did the first one and he decided to try a second one until I screamed. Then he gave me more numbing medication and I felt it run down my entire arm into my thumb and second finger. He caused a nerve damage that led to Complex regional pain syndrome. I have met some very good doctors since but I have also met some very negative doctors too. I have other physical conditions as well and I find when some doctors don’t know the answer to a symptom or they don’t want to try to then it is always blamed on your mental health. I feel in a vicious cycle with the stigma mental health has. Feeling alone.
 
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