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Dom Violence Housing self-advocacy after dv, and suffering from c-ptsd

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mumstheword

MyPTSD Pro
So I've been out of the life-threatening DV situation, for some time.
I'm, now, lobbying for a transfer out of my town-of-trauma for health reasons and struggling in my communication with my housing providers.

Part of this is my lovely :eek::dead::sorry: package of symptoms and part of this is the ways in which I've been treated by said housing providers.

How I've dealt with this lately, is to ask my trauma counsellor and a local social worker for help, and spend my more "active" and functional moments organizing letters of advocacy from a number of services that I engage with.

I , also, want to write them a letter, explaining why I really need a transfer.

The only reason I'm bothering, at this stage, is that I had one housing worker, the Area manager (briefly and only late last year before my first hospitalization), who treated me kindly. She asked me if I wanted to move and told me they had houses in the next town (my area-of-choice). She's mysteriously left the org which hasn't increased my sense of safety at all (she was an amazing peer, a fellow sufferer and raised in gov housing).

I've experienced a lot of trauma while housed by this "community" housing provider org and feel that that are complicit.

Now, I know this is felt at irrational levels due to, you know, symptoms:eek:, but they've left me in a bad situation when they could have helped me out of it when I tried to get out. I reached out to them and they refused to help me.They left me in that situation and when I nearly died and fled and was made homeless and eventually wound up in a refuge, they took advantage of my naivety and put me in an incredibly violent area after that, because apparently "I had tenancy rights". I had no idea I even had a right to say no without ending up long term homeless and I had young children.

I eventually got transferred out of that area, not to my area of choice but back to the small drug-ruined/ illegal drug economy tiny town where my ex lives and is quite a prominent figure.
I've hated being here, but when I requested moving to my-area-of-choice, they fobbed me off with "Oh, the waiting list is 4-5 years long". That was about 6 years ago.

Here, I've suffered a lot and the neighbors are ice heads, child abusers and DVers themselves and I've just gotten more and more ill, and that's after years of group and individual therapy, and LOADS of recovery practice and training (in peer support, recovery and advocacy) plus uni study .

Does anyone have any ideas how I could frame a letter to clearly and effectively ask for compassionate consideration and urgent relocation?

Oh and I have an at-risk, mentally vulnerable offspring that's desperate to move in with me and out of the drug-f*cked narcissist den that is his father's house (that I procured for him) but I have no room where I am.

And another offspring that I already worked with services to remove from his father's who was made psychologically ill by said Dad to care for, who's already over there.

The majority of my children want to move over there with me, or near me and get away from their Dad but housing have already reduced and near induced a breakdown in my oldest daughter when she implored for their assistance. Yeah the day I got back from my hospital admission.LOL (sarcastic, mirthless laugh:arghh;:dead:)

How do I "trauma-inform" a community housing provider org?
How do I sound civil, patient, articulate and non-emotional when stressing the urgency for consideration of mine and my children's needs?
Or if you have no pragmatic suggestions, any emotional support or acknowledgment will still be hugely appreciated.:happy:
 
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How do I "trauma-inform" a community housing provider org?
This is a good question. Trauma-informing a giant bureaucracy? That's a big undertaking. You will probably want to work on individuals instead of the whole organization.
How do I sound civil, patient, articulate and non-emotional when stressing the urgency for consideration of mine and my children's needs?
That quote about "you and your children's needs" is a good start! The provider is (ostensibly) there to help families be more safe. You and your family need safety. Honestly, writing the above is a good start to self-advocacy!
Or if you have no pragmatic suggestions, any emotional support or acknowledgment will still be hugely appreciated.:happy:
HUGE support here!!!! :hug:
 
I live in community housing and apparently have “tenancy rights”.... Excuse me while I try and contain my laughter at that concept!!

So, there’s a couple of different strategies to think about.

First, if you can - maybe try and arrange an appointment with your housing provider. Ideally, you’d take one of your support-people with you. I’ve never had any kind of reaction to correspondence or phone calls. In-person appointments do seem to make it a touch harder for them to brush you off.

Second is maybe investigate whether there are other housing providers in the area you’re aiming to move to, and approach them. As well as community housing, there’s also the national rental affordability scheme, which also has capped rents, and may be an affordable alternative. NRAS providers tend to (not always, but some do) have a much more ‘hands on’ approach to booting out problem-tenants, which can make their properties feel somewhat safer.

Third suggestion is to approach community support organisations, particularly mental health or sexual violence organisations, that are based in the area you’d like to move to. They often have established relationships with housing providers and can sometimes get people into housing quicker...

Just some thoughts. Housing issues do my head in. I finally have a front door that has a reliable lock - which is a huge achievement for my provider!!!
 
Thanks So much @somerandomguy and @Sideways :)
I already feel more emotionally prepared for this quest.
I think I'll submit my paperwork into Gov Housing as well as Community Housing.
I talked to the social worker yesterday. She's keen to play advocate for me but I don't trust her much, she keeps saying annoying gender bias, virtual-signally stuff and other trigger type condescending stuff but she approached me yesterday with much enthusiasm for helping me, citing her, now "great relationship" with the housing providers in question.

I'm going to go in and hand in a hard copy (of a shit-load of letters and transfer-on-medical-grounds forms) and request an interview, which I'll make sure I attend with my amazing trauma counsellor as well as keep working with the social worker who will email the stuff for me too.
Unfortunately the gov has slashed funding for the NRAS and there's nothing available in my area.
I wish i could have gotten in with another org; 'Women up north', but because I was already in with North Coast Community Housing, I couldn't. WUN deal with DV victims exclusively and although I'm not down with the gender bias I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have placed me in an area, so violent, that the local pizza delivery and Salvos don't allow any service delivery there.

Anyway I finally got to leave there, out of the frying pan and into the fire, for a symptom spike in hippysville and capital of my personal trauma. I'm feeling better just talking about it though, as the stress and hardship from this has been crushing me (hyperbole intended).

I am taking my most brilliant and compassionate neighborhood centre Trauma
Cousellor in with me as I'm pretty sure NCCH have decided I'm a "deplorable" and would rather talk to my advocates than deal with me personally.

Other than that one lovely employee that loved her job and was great, but left very abruptly, I've been, pretty much, treated like a pariah, by them.
 
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@mumstheword - take photocopies of everything with you. Always ask for a time frame and get it in writing. They may not want to do this bc they know it then holds them accountable even though they can theoretically pull a thousand excuses out of their a** to negate this.

Can you get legal representation to put a rocket up these ppl? They need to know that you remain vulnerable and your children are all at risk. Maybe a report from your doc or psydoc or T?

I keep requiring them to comply with legislation!
^^^ You need to know ALL your rights and the legislation that is meant to protect and assist you and your children but if you cannot then see if you can find a free legal service who can.

You know it is so wrong when you have to take on these org's by yourself. I feel for you. I'm not much help in coming up with ideas I know:sorry:
But here 1000% to support you while you work on this.
 
Two things that have helped me are to request everything in writing and to keep track of everything. I ask for the name and personal extention of every person I talk to. I also write down the times that I speak to them and what we discussed. Individuals working in organizations often react differently when there is a chance that they might be personably responsible for their work. I started doing this because of my own memory issues, but I discovered that it often freaks people out to be confronted with that much information.

Good luck! Personally, I would not want to get between a trauma counselor and the services that their client needs, so I hope that things go better now that you have more advocates.
 
So, so far ...
  • I have a letter from my uni psychologist
  • A letter from my sexual abuse counsellor
  • A letter from the "carer support" org I've received support from, in lieu of my disabled son's carer needs from me
  • The social worker has also written a letter
  • I have a meeting with my mental health nurse practitioner on Monday who'll fill in the transfer-on-medical-grounds-request app
  • My gp said he'd write me a letter too.
  • My pdoc is in Brisbane and I only see her as an inpatient, which is going to be in July.
So yeah, I'm hoping that all helps.
I will make sure I have copies and I'm handing in hard copies and digital copies of everything.



Thank you @Sideways @blackemerald1 and @Nessa7 :) i really appreciate the tips, empathy and support.
I'm getting a place in my town of choice, near my uni, one way or another, if I have to get uni accommodation temporarily, I will do so. I'm just worried for my kids, because their lives are based here, but I can't bare it for much.longer and I need a proper house to accommodate them.
I just can't do this town, indefinitely, it is, quite literally, destroying my life and sanity a little more each day.
 
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@mumstheword - sounds like you are getting everything in order and have made some very good decisions for yourself and your children.

You are going with what you know right now and your needs.

Children are amazingly resilient and will adjust.

Gaining some control of your situation and accommodation will help you stabilise. Then you will be able to help them settle down and hopefully they will start to thrive. A domino effect? I've seen it before. :)

Good luck:hug:
 
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