General How’s Everybody Holding Up?

Sweetpea76

Moderator
I just wanted to check on our supporters here. How is everybody managing their own stress when their partners may be extra symptomatic? Do you have any coping methods you’re using? Any solutions that are working?

My vet seems to be doing fairly well, but I only get the outward appearance. Who knows for sure? For now, we’re using the fine art of distraction and keeping super busy. Going to bed tired in the evening. Lots of projects, lots of cooking, lots of cleaning of closets, etc. It’s keeping him occupied. I’m also furloughed, so I’m around where he can keep tabs on me, which I think eases his mind when things are crazy.

This all may blow up in my face in the long run, with too much togetherness and not enough space... Or he may feel over-stressed because he’s not accomplishing some dumb project. Who knows? I’ll take the good for now though.
 
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LuckiLee

MyPTSD Pro
I'm doing well thanks for asking @Sweetpea76. I'm still at home working on home improvements. My work has called about 20% of workers back. Supposedly they will bring us back in small batches. Probably by the end of the month.

My sleep schedule is all out of whack so I am trying to get back on track.

J does better when he keeps busy so we keep finding things to update or upgrade around here. Which is nice because I've been wanting to do some of these things for years.

I think my being home also helps to keep him calm. Knowing where I am is reassuring to him. He's sad and wanting lots of cuddles and I love cuddles! ?

I'm keeping busy and in touch with family and friends. Cooking. Organizing. Cleaning. Sheesh. You would have thought we lived in a disgusting hovel. Lol. The weather is supposed to warm up this weekend so I can get outside and start cleaning up the yard and plant some flowers.

I'm trying to buy a vehicle from my Dad but the Secretary of State is closed until the 23rd, I think. A pain in the azz.

Today I clean the spare room and prep for painting. It's the last room we have to do. Then I want to update my kitchen counters. I bought ceramic tile and a new stainless steel sink. I found some really cool material for the backsplash so that will get done later this week. I am so excited.

I walk in the mornings, eat breakfast, shower then tackle some project. My goal is to have everything done by the time I go back to work so we can just enjoy whatever is left of the spring/summer.

I need my haircut so bad!! I have refrained from trimming it and have been wearing baseball hats. Lockdown isn't very glamorous. Lol

We recently got internet and Netflix so I have been watching entirely too much tv. We are loving it though. I just cant keep him from watching war and apocalyptic movies. Why are they all about some virus that destroys the world? Ugh!

Have a great day!
 

Never_falter2

MyPTSD Pro
I really do not have a coping method apart from being really busy. I still homeschool. Our oldest is back in school but only for three hours per week (no idea why they decided to risk infecting the kids for three hours of schooling).
I make our own bread. Me and the kids do a lot of things in the garden.
Vet is working long hours in the home office and we do not see each other a lot - actually I am avoiding him a bit because he always seems to be in a gloomy mood those days.
 

LuckiLee

MyPTSD Pro
We had a great run and now Memorial day has finally caught up to us.

I got the call to go back to work this Monday and I think that was the last straw. Between covid, riots, lockdown, his brother and now my going back to work next week. Yeah. He was bound to become overwhelmed. I knew it was coming and so did he. He even went out fishing this afternoon because he wasn't doing great. Smart. Right? Then his brother called him and needed J for whatever stupid reason and now he's in an even worse mood. As per. EVERY time he's symptomatic and hangs out with him all hell breaks loose. Ugh!!

He's out back fishing now. Probably cursing the universe and I'm here venting while watching Midsommer Murders.

All the horrible thoughts and feelings are on the surface and he's really hating himself right now. If I were to say anything to try to change his mind he will turn it all around to suit his mood. So I am giving space and listening when he needs me to.

I have no idea how this evening will end. He isn't drinking so it shouldn't be too awful. I know he's hurting and worried and extremely anxious so I shall remain calm, cool and collected.

Wish me luck.
 

Sweetpea76

Moderator
Good luck @LuckiLee.

We tiptoed through Memorial Day here too. I think this year was more subdued than most... probably because of the lack of Memorial Day festivities, sales blasted on TV, parades, and celebrations. He mentioned it once, and I took my cue to not bring it up again. I did sneak out and do the family graves, and I know he knew what I was doing, but he didn’t say anything. I think the downplay this year may have helped a bit, but he has definitely been quiet this week.

People at the V were bitching about the flags at half staff for the Covid victims the Saturday and Sunday before Memorial Day, and I was waiting for that to set him off, but it didn’t. He just said people were assholes if they can only feel compassion for one group of fallen at a time.

God help us all if all of this is still around by Veterans Day and the frickin’ holiday stretch.
 

LuckiLee

MyPTSD Pro
Last night wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. ?

He was fishing in the yard while I hung out in the house. He came in every 15 minutes or so to vent (?) I listened. Each time he was calmer then the last. Eventually he came in and said he was "starting a bonfire, did I want to come out"? Sure. He fished and I enjoyed the fire and a double Jim Beam and Vernors. We spoke very few generic words. He just wanted me near him.

For the first time in a couple of months he slept on the couch. When his symptoms are at this level he vomits. I know it is a personal, vulnerable position to be in so I dont say anything and just make sure he has water and a puke bucket.

This morning he woke up vomited and few times. Had coffee. I made us breakfast and he ate about 10 bites. He's sleeping in his chair and will most likely sleep the day away. I'm heading to the grocery store and dropping food off at my Dad's. I'll hang out with him for a couple of hours and let J veg out in his chair. I have a documentary about the Universe playing on the TV (calming to J along with true crime shows where the sob gets caught), he ate, he has Gatorade, his blankey, meds on board. He's good so I'm heading out.

Thanks guys. ❤?
 

Never_falter2

MyPTSD Pro
My vet is in a gloomy mood those days. We do not have Memorial Day now, which is in november.
He is basically in a gloomy mood because so many are dead world wide from Coronavirus and he finds it hard to cope (while being “addicted“ to learning more about the corona crisis). Everyday he wakes up: first thing before he even gets out of bed to grab for his cell phone and learn the latest corona news and tells me about them). He needs to be hold a lot.
He keeps observing the death numbers, how much are dead in our country and world wide... and he keeps talking about that and saying what kind of tragedy it is “So many are dead - when will it ever stop?“. He read an article about those who died from corona (and not even in our country) said he cannot forget their faces. Told me multiple times he will never forget their faces - and he didn’t even know them. I think that this is not good for him - obsessing over the death of people from another country he did not know... and he would have never heard of them had he not read that article.
I think that this is not good for him because... well it is a tragedy and a horrible loss of human lifes but it won’t change anything if we are sad about it. I tried to hint him that he should stop thinking about this but I think I offended him. I think he is feeling sad and horrified.

❤@Luckilee Mine vomited, too, today + did not want to eat. Not sure if that gives you any comfort but you aren’t aloneand I am happy he is better now. Think you are doing a great job.
 

Sweetpea76

Moderator
When this is all over I swear I’m going on a short weekend sanity trip somewhere with the girls.

I think I’m wearing myself out more making sure he’s distracted. Going back to work will seem like a vacation!
 

Sweetpea76

Moderator
Everything is alright... he’s doing fairly well for the week after Memorial Day. *I’M* just tired from doing waaaaaay too many projects, cleaning, cooking, etc. We’ve been keeping super busy (honestly to distract him). However, since my vet is disabled, when it comes to projects around the house, I do all the heavy lifting, bending, stooping, climbing, etc. He’s also very observant to tell me what I’m missing or doing wrong while I’m doing it too ... bless his heart. It irritates him that he can’t do that stuff anymore.
 
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