I’m not good at remembering most things, but when someone hurts me, it sticks. It’s practically impossible for me to get over things. Stuff my partner did that hurt me last year feels like it happened yesterday. Even small stuff. My therapist says this is normal, that it’s part of hypervigilance, that my brain is wired to remember this stuff. I get that, but understanding it isn’t helping. I can tell myself that I’m over it a million times, that I love my partner and that he loves me, I can beg my brain to forget it, but it’s still there. It makes it so I can’t feel secure with him, even though he’s trying so hard and never did anything that was all that terrible. The persistence of the memories makes it difficult to remember that I do love him. He’s been better to me than anyone else I’ve ever been with. I want to spend my life with him. But I can’t do that with this stuff stuck in my head. I’m sure this isn’t rare and am hoping someone who has successfully managed to navigate something like this before can give me some pointers. My therapist says I’m just supposed to be honest with my partner when these memories invade my head, and that I’m supposed to remind myself that I made the decision to get over them. It just doesn’t work for me, though, and I can’t go through life expecting my partner to be perfect and never do anything that hurts me.