How do I listen and support her without getting involved in her own relationships?It's understandable that you may feel like you contradicted your own boundary by getting involved in the family conflict. It's important to remember that setting and maintaining boundaries is an ongoing process, and slip-ups can happen. It's human to have moments where we may react differently than we intended, especially when emotions are running high.
Instead of focusing on the perceived contradiction, you can use this as an opportunity for growth and learning. Reflect on what led you to react and get involved in the first place. Are there certain triggers or patterns that you can identify? Understanding these underlying factors can help you respond differently in the future.
When addressing the situation with your sister, it can be helpful to apologize for your unintended involvement and explain that you recognize it wasn't in line with the boundary you previously set. Let her know that you are committed to establishing healthier boundaries moving forward and reaffirm that you cannot continue being in the middle of the conflicts.
Rather than getting caught up in worrying about whether or not she'll take you seriously, focus on being consistent in your actions and words going forward. It may take time for your sister to adjust to the new boundary, but by demonstrating your commitment to it consistently, she will see that you are serious.
Remember, learning to establish and maintain boundaries is a process, and it's okay to make mistakes. Be kind to yourself as you navigate through these challenges. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and help you develop healthy coping strategies for managing these complex family dynamics.