When I was in college, I spent a lot of time with my classmates. I was in a small satellite college and we all had to work together. I only got along well with half my class, the other half I couldn't stand but did learn to be somewhat diplomatic.
I found that being able to talk to them about our subjects enabled me to have conversations with them, where as, previously I would have not been able to do so.
I never learned to trust them. I was there for two years, in close quarters, and never did trust them. As soon as college was over, the sketchy friendships ended.
I didn't have as much time for my family while in college. I think my relationship suffered quite a bit with my son (I'm a single mother) due to the lack of time I was able to spend with him.
College really highlighted how different I was from other people. At the time, I didn't know I had PTSD although I had long known something was wrong with me. Two weeks after graduating from college, I was diagnosed. What has really stuck with me about my experiences there, was how differently I thought and reacted to the rest of my class. It alienated me from them. I was the Instructor's favorite student as I came up with lines of thought that the other students didn't. I was unique. However it made it hard to connect with the students. It was a catalyst to my diagnosis and getting help.
It is not easy to socialize in college/university, expecially dealing with the stress and anxiety of meeting the deadlines of assignments, studying for tests, etc. Sometimes it takes all my energy to keep focused.
I do have two good friends, they do try to be there for me. When the PTSD symptoms are worse I tend to withdrawal from them avoid phone calls. I still show up for classes.
It is difficult being around people when I feel out of place, expecially when the PTSD symptoms increase. I don't like people seeing me that way.
What do you think of the sentence below? Is this true to you?
Some relationships are destroyed when one finds himself or herself suffering from PTSD, and pursuing a college degree becomes most challenging
I've found that I tend to have a few close friends that I've had for years, a boyfriend who is still learning about what it means for me to live with PTSD, and that's about it. I find the more I am able to focus, in general, the easier it is to study and to maintain friendships. When my PTSD symptoms are heightened, I tend to pull away as I find myself more in my head, or disassociated.
I think what I've found that works is finding people in my life who know sometimes I need to have my own space, and know that I would move heaven and earth for them - but sometimes I'm just not going to be there, not because I don't want to, but because I need to take care of me first. That has meant that certain people who were in my life, are no longer, but I have found that the friendships/relationships that have are stronger and mean the world to me.