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How do you break through paralyzing fear?

Discussion in 'Avoidance' started by SeekingAfrica, Mar 13, 2018 at 12:29 PM.

  1. SeekingAfrica

    SeekingAfrica Well-Known Member

    I don't want to avoid anymore, but I find myself frozen, trying and not really get myself to pull through. And of course with time that indecision makes issues grow bigger and bigger. I have somehow managed to do it before, but I have absolutely no idea how.

    The only thing that comes to mind is breaking tasks into smaller manageable pieces.

    But what if it's the kind of task you can't break down? A phone call you need to make that makes you feel like you're going to throw up, panic and get headache at the same time? A work task that once started needs to be finished, and even though it would take...10-30min, you dread it so much that you can't start, or you start and then throw out all your progress because you don't feel you are doing good job? Finding solution to a problem that seems too big to handle and just sitting down with pad of paper to try to think about it gives you a panic attack? Literally? What if you have a deadline and that only makes it worse? What if it's an important task, but again, that only makes you more scared so much so that you panic multiple times daily? What if your todo list keeps growing exponentially with things like that and you can't seem to catch up to it?
    expectingbetter likes this.
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  3. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

    Yep. That’s been my life for awhile, now. I don’t have a great answer, still very much in the middle of it.

    What does work at least to some degree // what I am doing though :

    - Blow off as much steam, as early & as often as possible (aka lower stress cup levels)

    - Get a bunch of smaller tasks done in the wake of the big looming task (ie if there’s a BigBad thing I can’t touch with a 10’ pole? All of a sudden the smaller tasks that were too much to do all by themselves become much easier.)

    - Action kills fear.

    - Habit / routine / ritual. (Get as many things as possible in their own little routines, in part of a larger routine, so that they can happen on autopilot >>> No matter how stressed out I am, I don’t have to actually think about doing them in order to do them.)

    - Chemical distance / smackdown.
    SeekingAfrica and Freida like this.
  4. Mee

    Mee Active Member

    My first consideration for a phone call I cannot face but the action needs addressing is; could it be an email.

    Avoiding the call yes, but not the issue
    shimmerz likes this.
  5. Rumors

    Rumors I'm a VIP

    Here is the thing I have found with those very issues, they are smaller microcosms of a larger issue. When you dig in to the bigger issues then the smaller ones become more manageable. The thing that helped me the most in biting that off was my desire to get better and be well and healthy was greater than the need to avoid any longer. It hasn’t been easy.
  6. shimmerz

    shimmerz My silence spoke a thousand words you never heard Premium Member

    I am going to suggest too that self care is hugely important in this. If I am not eating properly, sleeping well, drinking enough water, moving your body enough then I have found that I get reactive over just about everything in an exaggerated way. I find the self care element gives me a more solid foundation.
  7. SeekingAfrica

    SeekingAfrica Well-Known Member

    How do you sleep well if you worry too much? I agree about self care though I admit I am not the best at it. I'm trying though.

    How do you start on those issues, what do you do? Sometimes it's really clear what the "next step" is, but in this I am in the dark a little. I've been dealing with a lot of smaller issues(still big enough), how do I deal with the big issue? Wouldn't know where to start. I so want to be back in the mindset where I'm so determined I inspire myself, but I am not sure how to do so.
    shimmerz likes this.
  8. Rumors

    Rumors I'm a VIP

    I think you just did actually...you just acknowledged there is a “big issue” and that literally is the first step. My take away from your last post is that you are very unclear and you are desperately looking for someone to help you find the answers. Right now, that’s enough. You need to partner with someone who can help you start searching in the right places for those answers. I think if you were to print off this thread and take it to your therapist, it might be a good place to start. You expressed your worry and need to search for answers here very well. I think this could be useful for your therapist to kind of know the direction they may need to go.
    As far as inspiring yourself... you do, daily, or you wouldn’t be here. You inspire me bc you are willing to jump out there and ask hard questions and look for the answers. Most people just avoid the topic all together. I know it feels like you are a small fish in a big sea, but I promise you are a whale and the sea is yours to own. Hugs if you are ok with them. You have got this!
    shimmerz likes this.
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