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Deleted member 93
As I am learning about this condition I just don't seem to "feel" I have it even being diagnosed. I know I dealt with a lot of things and over react to minor things in general. I have been told forever to chill out, calm down, I have big issues with people seeming to display a total lack of decency or common sense.
I asked someone close to me today... be honest, do I really have that short of a fuse? Oh yeah... was his response.
OK... where I am hitting a wall and maybe I am not far enough with CBT to get it as we were working on getting my panic attacks from sprialing out of control. So far so good, I faced them, accept them and since they always made feel like I was dying I settled in for another round of hours worth of attacks to just keep coming determined to let them be as bad as they can be as I had a major trigger show up one day (perfect chance to try it), the ex that kidnapped and raped me who pops in to play dad once every year or two. Made him leave. As I laid their I stopped fighting the attack and let it "kill" me if it wants I could careless. And now they come but don't spiral out of control anymore, they last about 20 minutes and gone. But when they started there were no triggers, they would hit any time or where.
But now when I get annoyed or too much is going on and try not to get upset or ticked off it triggers an attack... Like holding my tounge or temper makes an attack happen. Is this normal? How do you control your temper without it coming out in this form??? I feel like the steam needs to go some where and this is how it usually erupts on myself as to not take it out on all around me.
I love my kids dearly but as the day wore on they were just getting out of hand, wrestling in a dog pile, bubble guns blown at me in the living room(those put out hundreds of bubbles), I asked as nicely as I could but firmly to stop. None listening; my husband home booms at them as he can recognize an attack a mile away now, this just makes it worse. Me yelling I feel better but I try to not do (not good at it) but a man yelling makes it even worse.
Any advice?
I asked someone close to me today... be honest, do I really have that short of a fuse? Oh yeah... was his response.
OK... where I am hitting a wall and maybe I am not far enough with CBT to get it as we were working on getting my panic attacks from sprialing out of control. So far so good, I faced them, accept them and since they always made feel like I was dying I settled in for another round of hours worth of attacks to just keep coming determined to let them be as bad as they can be as I had a major trigger show up one day (perfect chance to try it), the ex that kidnapped and raped me who pops in to play dad once every year or two. Made him leave. As I laid their I stopped fighting the attack and let it "kill" me if it wants I could careless. And now they come but don't spiral out of control anymore, they last about 20 minutes and gone. But when they started there were no triggers, they would hit any time or where.
But now when I get annoyed or too much is going on and try not to get upset or ticked off it triggers an attack... Like holding my tounge or temper makes an attack happen. Is this normal? How do you control your temper without it coming out in this form??? I feel like the steam needs to go some where and this is how it usually erupts on myself as to not take it out on all around me.
I love my kids dearly but as the day wore on they were just getting out of hand, wrestling in a dog pile, bubble guns blown at me in the living room(those put out hundreds of bubbles), I asked as nicely as I could but firmly to stop. None listening; my husband home booms at them as he can recognize an attack a mile away now, this just makes it worse. Me yelling I feel better but I try to not do (not good at it) but a man yelling makes it even worse.
Any advice?