How do you explain the daily battle?

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LuckiLee

MyPTSD Pro
I think @Ronin hit the nail on the head. Teamwork!!

I understand J is the one with PTSD but I can't let him figure everything out on his own. Especially when it involves me too. We're in this together.

If he was having a problem with intimacy/sex I wouldn't expect him to resolve it by himself. I understand you want to make your SO happy but what exactly is he doing to make you feel safe and comfortable? You're in couples therapy to figure out how you can have sex more often. This doesn't make much sense to me because you need to address the reasons why sex is so difficult and what you need to feel supported and safe. You may not be (sexually) compatible right now. And that's ok too.

J is finally able so share his triggers and symptoms with me. He always tries to explain what is going on in his head and why. He talks. I listen.

How long have you two been together?

P.S. thanks for the wonderful compliments @Warrior Chicken and @Mee!! You both made my day.

XO
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
Warrior Chicken, I wonder if this is a crazy idea in your shoes? DH and I were messing around with couples quizzes today , it was funny and cute and even after all these years we found out things we didn’t know about each other partly because the quizzes were silly and light hearted mainly. In a funny way I think this sort of thing helps have dialogue around both joy and the grief of what is lost? And sharing that.
 

Ronin

MyPTSD Pro
Or cooperative games :sneaky: Light hearted and fun getting how the other one prioritizes, how is what wish communicated, and getting across you two *are* a team, just different people.

Also reminds me... communicating some dark may mean it loses power / is darker in your corners, but wouldn't be the same shade for the loved one?

Though true, that kind of requires your emotions won't be shot down with a minimizing at best remark, which sounded your guy can't really get across so well as of yet. :/
 

Freida

MyPTSD Pro
If I could answer that I wouldn't be hiding at the beach with my brain eating itself and totally unable to tell my supporters why. :(

oh ya ..and this...
But not when it comes to my own battle. That’s mine, my demons, my enemy, don’t want to expose others to their harm. I’m used to living with their torment, so hide it from them to keep them safe....happy, oblivious. Besides, if I told them about my demons? ‘It’s not that bad, there’s WAY worse! Drama queen’
 

void

MyPTSD Pro
Explain the Battle:

In PTSD/C-PTSD, the entire person, body/brain, alters itself in order to survive the trauma or traumas to which it is being exposed. The body/brain then remains locked into that state, which causes many problems. The person with PTSD/C-PTSD is well-adapted to living perpetually with more trauma, but the trauma has ended. The body/brain had no choice but to alter itself in this way, if it had not, the person would have been destroyed.

The person with PTSD/C-PTSD has to try to find a way to live in peace in a body adapted for war.

May each of you find this way.
 

Warrior Chicken

MyPTSD Pro
The person with PTSD/C-PTSD has to try to find a way to live in peace in a body adapted for war.
This is exactly.....succinctly....how it is. Thank you for that, and if I may, could I use that to describe how it feels?

My supporters have not experienced war, and I hope they never do, but with all the media portraying war I think they could understand. Some of my experiences are from war, so it might make even more sense for them.
 

void

MyPTSD Pro
@Warrior Chicken

You most certainly may. ?

Whether it is an actual war, or powerlessness inducing abuse(war in a metaphorical sense), the way that the body/brain alters itself and the long-term consequences are the same. The body cannot have abstract ideas about war vs. abuse. The only things it 'knows' is that it must fight/flight/freeze/fawn as a last ditch attempt to survive.

It is a VERY good thing that our body/brain changed in this way, we are alive b/c of it. It is regrettable that it is so challenging to live with the consequence of that change.

May peace replace your pain.?
 

Shi

New Here
Im right there with you warrior chicken❤️I will say everyday truly is a battle. My husband is a very intelligent man. And i do feel he has an understanding of my C-PTSD. However i feel it is a head understanding...not a heart understanding. And it is so hard. I want to say “i wish you could feel what i feel” But i wouldn't wish that on anybody. And honestly, i’m not sure if he could handle that. But i suppose none of this information helps you? I’m sorry. I guess im looking for the same answers. But it does sound like you are doing the best you can. Keep being you! Exactly you! ❤️ Shi
 
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