the messy one
New Here
My husband is amazing. We've been together almost 16 years now and he's just fantastic. I've got a therapist/psych team that's amazing. We have a marriage counselor that's amazing, he has a therapist/psych team that's amazing (ok we see the same psych- she's amazing). We're very much in love, he's very much on board wrt supporting me and I feel like a complete damn mess.
According to my dx: attachment disorder, ADHD, MDD, GAD, CPTSD and probably something else I'm forgetting. My parents really screwed me up good.
Life was pretty much ok till I got triggered is such an incredibly huge way during sex with my husband a little over 2 months ago and I don't know if I can curse here but if I could there would be curse words here because poop is screwed. I haven't been able to stand the thought of sex for fear of another paralyzing flashback. That had never happened to me before, or if it had I'd forgotten about/written it off as something else. At any rate never at that level.
My husband is trying really hard. He keeps reading all he can on supporting me. Only now his therapist is warning him not to enable me. This is really making me annoyed because for once in my life I'm finally at a place where I feel like I can ask for help when I need it and the one person I feel like I can ask from help from is being told not to help me too much.
IDK what I need here. Venting? Advice? Is it really enabling when he does the dishes 4x a week because I can't stop dissociating? IDK. I don't want to be enabled. I also don't want to end up back where I was my entire life where I never asked anyone for anything because of fear. I'd ask my therapist but she's out of town for the next 3 weeks. Terrible timing on her part, but it couldn't be helped.
Ugh.
According to my dx: attachment disorder, ADHD, MDD, GAD, CPTSD and probably something else I'm forgetting. My parents really screwed me up good.
Life was pretty much ok till I got triggered is such an incredibly huge way during sex with my husband a little over 2 months ago and I don't know if I can curse here but if I could there would be curse words here because poop is screwed. I haven't been able to stand the thought of sex for fear of another paralyzing flashback. That had never happened to me before, or if it had I'd forgotten about/written it off as something else. At any rate never at that level.
My husband is trying really hard. He keeps reading all he can on supporting me. Only now his therapist is warning him not to enable me. This is really making me annoyed because for once in my life I'm finally at a place where I feel like I can ask for help when I need it and the one person I feel like I can ask from help from is being told not to help me too much.
IDK what I need here. Venting? Advice? Is it really enabling when he does the dishes 4x a week because I can't stop dissociating? IDK. I don't want to be enabled. I also don't want to end up back where I was my entire life where I never asked anyone for anything because of fear. I'd ask my therapist but she's out of town for the next 3 weeks. Terrible timing on her part, but it couldn't be helped.
Ugh.