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How do you stay grounded in therapy?

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Dissociating during therapy has become such an issue that we have stopped EMDR all together (temporarily) to work on safety, skills, etc. Lately the tiniest things have been triggering me much more than they normally do. I feel almost completely unable to function in any domain of life. T has been trying to think of some movement-based way for me to stay grounded during therapy. Feeling like I can't move is triggering, so that is why. I tend to move/fidget a lot during therapy but I think she wants to make this more "structured." But even she is struggling to think of something that will feel "safe" and won't be triggering. I am very self-conscious so any big, obvious movements are out of the question.

She has mentioned play dough a few times, but ... eh. Maybe. She mentioned a stress ball but I think both of us then realized that I would probably squeeze it too hard and break it. ;)

She has suggested drawing/writing/scribbling in a notebook while we talk. I said no to this due to it being triggering, which is a shame because otherwise it sounds like a good idea. I was trying to think of a way to do this that wasn't triggering. The only thing that came to mind for me was etching in wood with something sharp ... lol. Does anyone have any ideas? It needs to be something that I can do somewhat "loud" and fast and hard, but at the same time being mostly quiet and subtle. And not messy. And preferably something I can do in my lap rather than have her bring out the table which freaks me out for some reason. The real triggers when it comes to the notebook thing are: feeling on the spot and like I'm expected to produce something, the pens/pencils/markers/crayons themselves. I suppose if I could somehow take those things away it would no longer be triggering.

A lot of grounding techniques are extremely triggering for me: deep breathing, body relaxation in particular. So far using scents has been the only thing we have found to be mildly effective (spraying a lavender scented spray bottle and noticing the scent). Also me mirroring her movements (swaying side to side) helped a little once. But I guess I'm looking for things that are more preventative to have throughout the session so that I don't "need the spray" as I like to say. :)

I would love to hear your ideas/things that have worked for you. Thanks in advance!
 
Glad you mentioned scents. I work with dogs with problems.....even ptsd. Long story short..we came across a combination of peppermint & lavender. May not be logical..peppermint, a stimulant, & lavender, calming. I noticed while shopping one day that the same two were used in a roll on essential oil product for headaches. I've never used it in therapy but have at home on rough days. I inhale it directly or apply to my wrists. Don't know why it works just know it does for me.
 
It needs to be something that I can do somewhat "loud" and fast and hard, but at the same time being mostly quiet and subtle.
Drumsticks.
Soroban
Tying knots / climbing rope
Tying knots / weaving hemp, finger crochet, friendship bracelets, braiding
Tying lures
Knitting or Sewing
Piano fingering exercises
Dexterity exercises (think rolling a coin between your fingers)
Origami
 
Dissociating during therapy has become such an issue that we have stopped EMDR all together (t...
I carry palm stones in my pockets all the time so I can pull one out when needed for grounding. T has a bigger stone that I can use during a session if I ever need it. I have used Thinking Putty. It is way better than Play-dough in my opinion! Tossing a ball from one hand to the other when things get really bad seems to help. T will have me do that when we are working on really tough stuff.
 
Fidget cube? I love the very satisfying clicky switch on one side. I also like the feel of rolling the smooth metal ball under my thumb.
 
To Fridays suggestion what about needle point, but the one on the big plastic canvases that use yarn? You can be pretty aggressive with those
 
My therapist just got a sand bag i put on my lap. I love it. I have gone ahead and bought a weighted blanket.
Another friend of mind is a trauma psychologist and she has a client who wears a weighted vest during emir.
 
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