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How do you teach resilience?

The joy doesn’t count
I hear you, @Evie loves Sam. It sounds like despite engaging in activities together, there may still be underlying challenges impacting the depth of your relationship with your child. Have you considered exploring different ways to foster a more meaningful connection with your child outside of shared hobbies? Perhaps setting aside some time for open and honest conversations or engaging in activities that encourage emotional expression could help strengthen your bond. What are your thoughts on trying new approaches to deepen your relationship with your child?
 
I hear you, @Evie loves Sam. It sounds like despite engaging in activities together, there may still be underlying challenges impacting the depth of your relationship with your child. Have you considered exploring different ways to foster a more meaningful connection with your child outside of shared hobbies? Perhaps setting aside some time for open and honest conversations or engaging in activities that encourage emotional expression could help strengthen your bond. What are your thoughts on trying new approaches to deepen your relationship with your child?
I do things for emotional expression. Child released emotions. But he is blaming me like the abuser does. A constant streaky stream of blame telling me I’m responsible for everything that wrong. And I mean everything. The abuser points every problem or unhappiness at me. Others do no have to take responsibility for their behaviour. He lies. He takes one bit of a story and then turns it onto a completely different and extreme story that isn’t true. I know it isn’t true because I looked for the evidence and the evidence support me. But he has an awake ring conviction in his own lies. He accept anything but his narrative.
 
I do things for emotional expression. Child released emotions. But he is blaming me like the abuser does. A constant streaky stream of blame telling me I’m responsible for everything that wrong. And I mean everything. The abuser points every problem or unhappiness at me. Others do no have to take responsibility for their behaviour. He lies. He takes one bit of a story and then turns it onto a completely different and extreme story that isn’t true. I know it isn’t true because I looked for the evidence and the evidence support me. But he has an awake ring conviction in his own lies. He accept anything but his narrative.
It sounds like your child's behavior and blaming you for everything wrong can be incredibly challenging and painful, @Evie loves Sam. It must be distressing to feel like you are constantly under attack and being misrepresented. Have you sought guidance from a therapist or counselor specializing in trauma and family dynamics to navigate these complex dynamics with your child? It could be helpful to have a professional perspective on how to respond to unfounded accusations and distorted narratives while maintaining your own well-being. What steps have you taken to address this ongoing issue with your child?
 
I do things for emotional expression. Child released emotions. But he is blaming me like the abuser does. A constant streaky stream of blame telling me I’m responsible for everything that wrong. And I mean everything. The abuser points every problem or unhappiness at me. Others do no have to take responsibility for their behaviour. He lies. He takes one bit of a story and then turns it onto a completely different and extreme story that isn’t true. I know it isn’t true because I looked for the evidence and the evidence support me. But he has an awake ring conviction in his own lies. He accept anything but his narrative.
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It sounds like your child's behavior and blaming you for everything wrong can be incredibly challenging and painful, @Evie loves Sam. It must be distressing to feel like you are constantly under attack and being misrepresented. Have you sought guidance from a therapist or counselor specializing in trauma and family dynamics to navigate these complex dynamics with your child? It could be helpful to have a professional perspective on how to respond to unfounded accusations and distorted narratives while maintaining your own well-being. What steps have you taken to address this ongoing issue with your child?
I have therapists. I have taken no steps to address with child. How do I?
 
I have therapists. I have taken no steps to address with child. How do I?
It's positive that you have therapists supporting you, @Evie loves Sam. When it comes to addressing these challenging dynamics with your child, it might be beneficial to start by creating a safe and open space for communication. Express your concerns about the accusations and distorted narratives you've been experiencing, emphasizing your commitment to understanding and resolving any issues together. Encourage your child to share their feelings and perspective while also asserting your boundaries and clarifying any misunderstandings. Additionally, setting clear expectations and consequences for disrespectful behavior can help establish healthy boundaries in your interactions. How do you feel about initiating a conversation with your child to address these issues and work towards a more constructive relationship dynamic?
 
It's positive that you have therapists supporting you, @Evie loves Sam. When it comes to addressing these challenging dynamics with your child, it might be beneficial to start by creating a safe and open space for communication. Express your concerns about the accusations and distorted narratives you've been experiencing, emphasizing your commitment to understanding and resolving any issues together. Encourage your child to share their feelings and perspective while also asserting your boundaries and clarifying any misunderstandings. Additionally, setting clear expectations and consequences for disrespectful behavior can help establish healthy boundaries in your interactions. How do you feel about initiating a conversation with your child to address these issues and work towards a more constructive relationship dynamic?
Ok. So I did that. I corrected misconceptions and told him he can talk to me anytime. He shut down and wouldn’t respond.
 
Ok. So I did that. I corrected misconceptions and told him he can talk to me anytime. He shut down and wouldn’t respond.
It's understandable that your child's reaction may have felt disheartening after you made efforts to address the situation, @Evie loves Sam. It's common for individuals, especially in fraught relationships, to shut down and struggle with processing and responding to difficult conversations. It's essential to give your child space to process the interaction while also reaffirming your availability to engage in further discussion whenever they feel ready. In the meantime, focusing on maintaining open lines of communication, validating your child's emotions, and expressing your willingness to work through challenges together can help lay the foundation for future dialogues. How do you plan to approach further communication with your child as they navigate their response to your initial conversation?
 
It's understandable that your child's reaction may have felt disheartening after you made efforts to address the situation, @Evie loves Sam. It's common for individuals, especially in fraught relationships, to shut down and struggle with processing and responding to difficult conversations. It's essential to give your child space to process the interaction while also reaffirming your availability to engage in further discussion whenever they feel ready. In the meantime, focusing on maintaining open lines of communication, validating your child's emotions, and expressing your willingness to work through challenges together can help lay the foundation for future dialogues. How do you plan to approach further communication with your child as they navigate their response to your initial conversation?
I’m worried that I’m not good at this. He’s put up his barriers and won’t put them down. He us stubborn and doesn’t listen. I can’t just let him go down this path. The validation g and listening is slow. The abuser moves fast and more manipulatively.
 
I’m worried that I’m not good at this. He’s put up his barriers and won’t put them down. He us stubborn and doesn’t listen. I can’t just let him go down this path. The validation g and listening is slow. The abuser moves fast and more manipulatively.
It's completely understandable to feel concerned about the challenges you're facing with your child, @Evie loves Sam. It can be difficult when communication breakdowns occur, especially when there are significant barriers to understanding each other's perspectives. Given your child's resistance and stubbornness, it may be valuable to seek support from your therapists to develop strategies tailored to your specific situation.

When engaging with your child, focusing on active listening, validating their emotions, and demonstrating empathy can help create a sense of safety and trust. It's important to acknowledge that progress may take time and consistency, especially when dealing with complex dynamics. Have you discussed these specific challenges with your therapists to explore effective approaches for fostering communication with your child while also attending to your well-being? What steps do you feel might be helpful in navigating this situation moving forward?
 
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