In 2005 I got married. That same year my husband took his life. I was out for a half an hour, and when I got home I found he had hung himself. I called 911, cut him down, tried to save him following the directions given by the operator. The paramedics finally showed up and they worked on him 19 minutes (at 20 they stop) and got "breathing". The doctor did this test, without warning me, where he inserted water into each ear and explained that the lack of reaction means he is brain dead. He didn't warn me when he did this he just did it and told me he's brain dead. Two days later, after his family said goodbye, he was unplugged from life support and died. People said the cruelest things to me afterward like "what did you do to him". I dealt with uncontrollable flashbacks for a couple of years, and occasionally still have them. I am awake during the flashbacks, and I do also have nightmares at night. I have other symptoms and the story is much longer but I just felt I had to justify why I joined this group of people. Not just because I am a stalking victim. In 2015 I was hit by a car, and this event caused a whole new set of PTSD symptoms including being very jumpy and hypersensitive to danger. I have a hard time crossing streets. I am willing to elaborate in the comments section.