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How the surrounding mood makes your mood

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Something that continuously bugs me, is having to tell my wife that her mood impacts on my mood. Obviously, when she is being upset or angry, she can just get over it, but I can't, as my brain just won't let me. I try and tell her that she needs to simply be nice, and mindful of how she says things around me, and basically stop being grumpy lots of times during the day. My stress levels are already high, without anything else going into my jar, and when my wife is angry, stressed or upset several times a day, then I have little room for absorption of her mood. Generally, a few mood swings and I'm then set in an angry mood for the day, or atleast a few hours.

This then makes things worse, as I don't want to talk, and need space to calm myself down, though I keeping either getting pushed by her to do something, or go somewhere, or she is moody again, angry or whatever the case.

It is really hitting home with me again why most people with PTSD just end up single, as having stressors around us, especially within our daily lives, just makes an already difficult daily life, much worse. I can explain it until the cows come home to her, but she doesn't have PTSD, thus she just can't comprehend why her moods set my moods off.

Is this just me, or do others have similar experiences?
heh... on a daily basis! Most days I count down the hours until everyone is asleep & I can collect my own thoughts & emotions.

One thing I have learnt over the years, is its not their tolerance that had to be worked on, it was my tolerance. They were quite entitled to their moods & emotions, it's just me that cant handle them. So now when their moods are bringing me down, I try to go down to a quite section of beach & scream at the ocean "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

But yeah, sometimes its like quicksand, it just sucks you under.

Your lucky to a degree, because your a male. I am forever being asked "is it that time of the month again?".... arrgggh.... how I hate that response! I either have PMT or are just being emotional. When it is that time of month, I usually make a grand speech to everyone that "NOW they can blame that"!
Kay Dee


I agree with Camry - - - on a daily basis. Especially at home. My mother tends to be a very pessimistic and negative/critical person. And like Camry, I can't wait until late evening after everyone goes to bed so that it's quiet, and I can become c-a-l-m. I have for the most part tuned out a lot. But what I think I'm tuning out, is really pressure growing on top of the stress I already have. Like you, Anthony, I have talked with my mother several times about her tone of voice when she criticizes me. She gets even madder. I think that is why I am on the go and busy so much. Then in late evening, it's quiet, and I can relax.

Surrounding moods, moods of others, definitely affect those of us with PTSD because we are hypersensitive anyway. Do you think that is why we shy away from crowds, and groups of other people?

Thanks girls... so its not just me then. I think it is why we shy away from crowds and gatherings, as Camry said, it is us that can't tolerate them. I can walk through a shopping centre, get what I need and get out, but if I'm stuck at a counter or something waiting to pay, well... anything goes from that point on. I could lose it there, or just get worse a little later on. Having to tolerate someone asking stupid questions, or complaining about something that just shouldn't be complained about... that does me for sure. Definately the mood around me...

Yer... funny that PMT thing... I do say that to the wife sometimes. My bad! I try to reframe from it though. She is learning how to cope with me, but more importantly, knowing things like this really plays an impact on my mood. I think my wife has read this, as she has started to relax around me the last couple of days, and funny enough, I have been good myself. As soon as someone around me is stressing for something so silly or irrelevant to me, that does me in. I look at things now as, is it life threatening, or not? If not, don't stress, if so, deal with quickly.

I am very much still black and white, though really trying hard to introduce some grey into decisions and my thought patterns. I still get a bit grumbly when driving, but nowhere near what I used to be like. I really just try and think to myself now, maybe they have PTSD and they are upset, in a bad mood, grumpy, need to get somewhere quick, etc etc.... It keeps me a little more calmer anyway.
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