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How To Convince a Macho To Get Help?

Discussion in 'Social' started by Linda, Apr 8, 2007.

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  1. Linda

    Linda Well-Known Member

    I am pretty concerned about my husband Jose recently.
    He also expressing PTSD syptoms, like nighmares, mood swings, anxiety, and anger issues, although is much less "crazy" than me.:cool:
    He is not being himself for a few days. Had three nightmares one after another, seems to be alerted about something, and went into a argument with me, which is absoutely not typical for him. I just avoided the argument, agreeing with whatever he tells. Tonight he was walking all around, and tolled me that can not find a comfortable place to rest. Finally went to sleep, but awoke pretty soon from a scary dream. Tried to explain me that he can not feel safe sleeping alone... Pretty touching, he is a 200 lb guy.:dont-know I have no choise but to calm him so he can sleep... If that helps at all.
    This is happening to him not the first time. I would like to cinvince him to seek help, but... It is impossible. He is a strong Macho who can not be overloaded with some stupid things from the past!
    I keep trying, but looks like sayin the words in foreign language.
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  3. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

    IMHO Linda, you cannot force him. I can see/hear that you are a comfort to him. Let him take things at his own speed and keep being supportive of his issues. I think he may end up in therapy, but that would be up to him. If you try and force your hand, he may lose his main support structure. Best of luck to you both.
  4. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Linda, support is the primary concern. He may not even be able to fully express what he feels, as he does not understand what he feels. Understanding ourselves is a venture by itself, and women do it much easier than men because genetically they are made that way. Women are more honest with themselves emotionally than males. You need to start small and coax him how to speak about his emotions, what he feels, for example; a simple question to someone like "do you think anger is a sole emotion?" Where you could then debate the more realistic nature of anger, being something else emotionally causes anger, hence why it is an emotional response, though is more misappropriated as an emotion itself. Frustration is a big emotion that causes anger, as an example. Someone insults another, hence causes anger from being emotionally hurt, attacked and abused (multiple emotions to cause anger).

    These type discussions help people who are emotionally challenged to then engage further in more indepth discussions about what they feel, because they grow an understanding of themselves. For a male, the largest aspect is to put aside male pride and succumb to simply being honest with themselves at an emotional level, not a masked level, ie. I wear a mask that nothing hurts me, because thats what I believe I have to do. When in fact if a person really feels quite secure and comfortable within a relationship, and what they tell their partner they know will not be used to hurt them, but support them, they can generally then begin opening up more and more. Its a gradual process basically, one in which you will need to coax him along slowly to get him talking at an emotional level to atleast yourself.
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