How to cope with loud neighbors?

Hi there.
I'm 21 and I identify as female. I live in a small apartment with my boyfriend and our dog.

I have past history in my teens / childhood that has lead to trauma and I have been diagnosed with cptsd and bpd (this was a few years ago).
The problem is that I am very hyperventilate. Which causes issues living in an apartment. The neighbors that live below me are extremely loud at all times of the day and night, and I'm not sure what to do. But I'm definitely fed up with it. It is causing me to relapse and its really affecting my mental health. The neighbors will slam their doors so loud, I can feel the vibration in my bedroom. They talk outside a lot and their voices are so loud, I can hear them at all parts of my apartment. Every room. Every area. They are constantly slamming doors and yelling, and chatting. I feel like I'm on edge everyday and its taking a toll on me. It gets to the point to where I have to cover my ears and go in a room and "hide" because I'm scared someone is going to "come for me". Lately I've been trying to keep the blinds closed and I've been trying to turn the TV on during the day to help. But some days they're louder than my TV. I really don't know what to do, but I'm running out of options. It seems like I can't relax and I can't ever fully just...exist. all I can say is that I'm exhausted mentally from this. Any ideas on what to do? My family member has suggested buying a wave noise machine, while others tell me to put in a noise complaint.


hello roses. welcome to the forum.

have you tried sound insulating earbuds or headphones? they block ambient noises like noisy neighbors and you can get them with or without sounds of your own.

for what it's worth
i have a similar problems with security lights. i am light sensitive with the added trauma of having been used in child pornography. bright lights are a gnarly ptsd trigger for me and our nights are still getting brighter. it seems that the brighter we get, the less enlightened we are. when all the 21st century light lovers start looking like child pornographers to me, i push myself out into the bright of night to do exposure therapy under a security light. just breathe. . . trust. . . process. . .


This is me right now!

Atm, I've got a 2-pronged attack going on. First? Dealing directly with the issue. So good hood phones playing good music, nearly all the time I'm at home. My bedroom is set up something akin to a sensory-deprivation shrine. I haven't got the sound-proofing on the walls yet, but the thick rug, thick, dark curtains, white noise machine. No shame. It's awesome!

The second part is dealing with things that reduce my SUDS (how stressed am I feeling? What's my baseline stress level at?). I cope with nails on a chalkboard a lot better when I'm not on the precipice of a complete stress wipeout.

Big ticket items here are good sleep, and aerobic exercise every day, without fail. Softer items I can add in are a hot, bubbly bath, playing with doggo, foot massage, etc.

For me personally? I think probably the second part is getting me further than my headphones. Both feel necessary though.