I have recently started dating someone and I like and trust this person but I feel really lost with how to deal with the sexual intimacy side of things. I think my problem is that I don't feel safe in intimate situations to properly let go and feel aroused and relaxed. I have also had the problem of ignoring when I feel like this, as I feel guilty, and so will go ahead with things so I don't let the other person down, even if it then causes me pain. I have been in therapy for around 6 months which I believe is why I have been able to make good progress in successfully dating a decent, non-addicted person - for the first time in over 10 years - this therapy has mainly focused on building my self-esteem, managing my emotions, and making sense of my family relationships and childhood. I haven't really gone into past abuse in therapy, it just hasn't come up. I haven't had sex with the new person I am dating yet, although we have kissed and cuddled a lot. He stayed over for the first time this weekend and I woke up very early with a nightmare, it was a flashback of my abusive ex raping me, and I was so relieved to find the new person lying in bed with me rather than my ex but it left me feeling not great, and certainly not in an amorous mood, which was disappointing. I'm just very confused about how to approach all of this, and if anyone has any advice at all from similar experiences, it would be really appreciated. I want to be intimate with this person but my body seems to fail me.