How to Move Forward with evidence from the past

I have an opprotunity that most don’t get- I am grateful but terrified.
The cops from my case have sent the text messages between me and the teacher that had groomed me/assaulted/threatened until I sent pictures of myself. It was a messed up, sick situation.
There are almost 600 pages worth of texts. I am 23 now, not the same as that troubled 16/17 year old kid.
I think in reading them (as I was dissociating/ drunk) a lot when this had happened over the years. I can get closure. But a lot of my loved ones think it’s a bad idea as well. I’m stuck with a heavy decision. What would you do?
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
Challenging.

Do you have a support system in place if you read them and have a negative reaction?
When you are disregulated, what behaviours do you do? I E. Is reading them likely to trigger some unsafe behavioural response?

Is it a binary: read or don't read option? Or something in the middle? I.e. if you start reading and realise it isn't good for you, would you be able to stop?

Sounds like reading them will be hard, whether ultimately helpful for closure or not, having support in place would help?

What closure do you think you'll get from reading them? And is that closure possible in any other way?

But also: if this goes to trial, would you not need to read them to prepare for that?
 

Toren

Learning
Agree. If you have a therapist, I would talk with them about a plan of action, possibly even reading parts together. I don't advise reading solo with a history of dissociation but that advice stems from my own experiences with dissociation when it comes to triggers. I'm sorry that happened to you
 

Friday

Moderator
What would you do?
Get the Manila envelope.

Flip through the sucker to make sure no one included anything but the texts. Like a note, or a winning lottery ticket, or someone else’s case file. Do my best to ignore the random words that will filter through my flipping through it.

Burn it, unread.
Toss it in the sea, unread.
Stick it in a drawer, meaning to read it, and forget about it for a decade.
Defer any decision and just hand it to my lawyer to do with as they please.

Not saying any of this is ideal. Just what I have done in similar circumstance.
 
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