How to overcome being stalked with violence. Sentencing 2.5 -4years on 25/08/21

Sanctuary

Confident
Please bear with my spelling as I am dyslexic.
I'm trying to find advice from people who have been through this.
I already have CPTSD from another trauma 25 years ago where I put a rapist who broke into the house for 9 years at the old bailey.

24 years later I'm back with an alarm around my neck connected to every policeman in the district.
I had a 1 years relationship with a man I went to school with when I was 13, I finished with him after he became abusive.

Little did I know he was a narcissist with a history of stalking women and a list of criminal offenses.
I only found out with Claire's law that was revealed to me by police.

He stalked me for 5 months, where he tampered with my car so I nearly crashed.
Tried to poison my cat by putting open sardines cans through the hedge.
Threaten to kill me and then himself .
Damaged and stole my property and put used condoms outside my locked gate on valentines day.

I lived with a crowbar under my bed as he threatened to burn down my flat.
At one point the police said you have to get out as we can't protect you.
I had a non-molestation order in place, he broke it.
I lived in fear of my life.
Now he is on remand in prison and sentencing is due 3 days before my 50th birthday.

I feel my future is bleak.
They are already talking about a restraining order for when he is released!
His mother lives 5 doors down from me.
I really don't know how much trauma I can take.

Living with an alarm around my neck twice in my life has really messed me up.
My Ptsd is on overload, I feel completely alone.

Anyone who has had an experience and ways of coping to carry on? please. share.
 

Sanctuary

Confident
I'm absolutely agreeing now.
Before I was like I've lived here for over 20 years, why should i move.?
Why should I lose my beautiful garden where I have planted cherry trees, and where my neighbours are kind.
I don't think I have any other choice now.
I'm devasted, he wins
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
And, even without the eventuality he might do something. Cherry trees are sweet that is for sure. But you won't be capable of enjoying them if you're constantly fearing for your life. It's not a way of living.

You deserve to be in a place where you aren't plunged in distress. And being under actually, tangible risk.

I understand the rage thought. He's wrong and you're right, yet he's got the power to make you move out. And it is enraging because it's unfair. But the power he will have on you with you staying there will be much bigger.

And you have the power to get out of it by moving out and having a life that doesn't revolve about what ifs and the mood of someone who's proven to you to be a nuisance and a danger. I'd see it as an affirmation of my capacity to choose the life I want for myself that is a life that isn't tapered with fear.

But I understand it really is hard to take.
 

Sideways

Moderator
I'm devasted, he wins
The opposite. You deciding moving on with your life, to hell with the cherry trees I can grow a garden where I like? I can live where I like, I'm not tied to you and the history of this place, and get to decide what my future looks like and he ain't in it? That's definitely not him winning.

He didn't win. He's going to be a guy that did time for stalking someone for the rest of his life.

What would you like your future to look like? You get to choose. He'd probably like you to stay put, but actually, you get to choose.
 
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