How to reconnect with friends when healing?

Hi All,

I feel like this is more to get future ideas so I can integrate as I continue on my path and also have been wanting some feedback on this due to being a little stumped.

My trauma response is dissociation and I’ve also self medicated as a way to feel. With this combo, I’ve had several situations where I’ve over reacted to situations and impulsively cut people out of my life. Along with me doing that, there were also instances where I’ve triggered some friends by being upset seemingly out of nowhere, which understandably made them feel unsafe.

I know I’m not in control of others when it comes to who would want to reconnect with me and I also want to start putting myself in the mind & heart set of being able to.

My concern is there were things that were legit happening with me and I don’t want to make it a self blaming, ignoring my feelings, groveling situation. That is still my go to underneath, which has me hesitant to start any reconnection process. I want to honor the feelings I had while also acknowledging the harm I did by being in dysregulation.

Does anyone relate to this and if so, what helped you get to a healthy place where you were able to authentically reconnect with people you care about?
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
It's hard. You can say as it is. That you have been dysregulated, that you reacted probably too brutally to something that didn't deserve such a reaction, but that it doesn't mean that this and that was ok, if it wasn't. Just assess what you think is legit and what you think is just you reacting to a trigger and creating a false positive. I don't know the precise case so you have to assess for yourself and it's often difficult to tell what's theirs what's ours when we're deep in the dysreg.
 

Rosebud

MyPTSD Pro
I think saying sorry if you are, and for your own part (forget about their's) is necessary for better relationships. But it has to be genuine. And so they say some people actually care to hear why you felt or reacted the way you did, if they care more I guess, and may forgive it. If you still harbour negative feelings the other direction, you may not want to reconnect, or you may want to discuss how you felt, or what would help.

I don't know the precise case so you have to assess for yourself and it's often difficult to tell what's theirs what's ours when we're deep in the dysreg.
^^ This is very true. And/or triggered.

Welcome to you, btw. 😊
 
Thank you so much, @ruborcoraxxx! I started learning DBT skills during rehab, found them incredibly useful and following up with practicing them slipped my mind. Look forward to getting back into them and again, appreciate the tip. ❤️💫
 
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