How Would You Describe Yourself Over the Past Year or Two? Who Do You Plan to Be in 2022?

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
How I Describe Myself Over the Last Couple of Years: Today is the last day of 2021! I've been thinking back on the fear and limitations that 2020 and 2021 have presented in addition to the active trauma I had to deal with from 2017-2020. Everything seemed tentative at the time....nothing was fixed and I had little to count on. I can see that I've made a lot more progress in 2021, in cleaning up a number of trauma issues, successfully living independently with stress typically under control, and keeping stress and drama at bay with boundaries with friends and family. I've found a sense of boundaries and balance. This past year, I've started to take ownership of my residence (It had always been a place I'd probably leave-so I didn't treat it like a home) so I've decided to stay there-a huge decision for me and make it look more like a home I want to live in.

I'm feeling more grateful that things are turning out better than before, feeling more connected to other's who are healthy, more tolerant of other's imperfections, feeling much more gratitude for those who have been in my life and been accepting of me. In 2017-2020, my courage level for new anything was low and problem-solving skills strained, but now I have more courage to try new things, have been taking better care of myself regularly, feel more organized and am better able to organize and problem solve, am remember both short and long term much better, and have begun making plans for my future (not just next week....but for years to come). So I'm feeling grateful for my progress.....and that led me to ponder upon......what do I want to tackle next. What do I want to do differently in 2022?

Who do I want to be In 2022? I want to be a more social creature, better connected to others I care about, and make some new friends who have common interests. In therapy, I've decided to delve into dealing with making "just friends" with members of the opposite sex, and learn some nuances or communication skills that I lack (meaningful small talk? Is there such a thing?....to make interactions with others more comfortable. So, I've signed up to take a conversational Spanish class, two pottery classes, and put my name on the list at a church to take the classes to consider being a member, and will visit with distant cousins I know from childhood....but don't know much about them. I'm considering going back to work, even though I'm retired, which would give me a little more flexibility financially in doing the things I'd like to accomplish to the house I'm living in, -so that's a maybe......when I left teaching, I never planned ever to go back because it was a horrible bully situation. So that's what I want to do! Would like to hear other people's progress and who you plan to be in 2022?
 

Whirlwind

MyPTSD Pro
So I'm feeling grateful for my progress.....and that led me to ponder upon......what do I want to tackle next. What do I want to do differently in 2022?
What a great "place" to find yourself in these days! Congratulations!

Last few years....are the cumulation of a superhuman effort and leap of faith. I did things I thought I couldn't. Some things I considered lost....were not. I feel I regained big pieces of my life and who I am. I managed significant stressors and came out the other side feeling stronger than when I started.

I too feel incredibly grateful and actually optimistic about the future.

2022.....I don't know yet but I'm excited. 😊
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
What a great "place" to find yourself in these days! Congratulations!

Last few years....are the cumulation of a superhuman effort and leap of faith. I did things I thought I couldn't. Some things I considered lost....were not. I feel I regained big pieces of my life and who I am. I managed significant stressors and came out the other side feeling stronger than when I started.

I too feel incredibly grateful and actually optimistic about the future.

2022.....I don't know yet but I'm excited. 😊
@Whirlwind That's great news! Progress I think takes time to happen, and when we can "see" things moving forward, it's motivating. I agree with the "super human effort".....is a good way to put it......and yes, faith.....believing that the effort will pay off......way to go! Happy New Year!
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
I like this thread. It's helping me try and be positive.

2020/2021: Battling. There was a lot of death to deal with (both parents-in-law, brother in law's suicide all within 6 months of each other in 2020, and work friend's death in 2021).
Resurfacing memories. One after another. A lot of emotional pain.
So battling.
But also: lots of positives. New name in 2020- love it.
Started my healing journey in 2020, after decades of pretence.
Becoming a more rounded person.
Becoming me.

As I write this I am listening to "I am light" by India Arie. So for 2022:
I want to be light.

 
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Whirlwind

MyPTSD Pro
@Whirlwind That's great news! Progress I think takes time to happen, and when we can "see" things moving forward, it's motivating. I agree with the "super human effort".....is a good way to put it......and yes, faith.....believing that the effort will pay off......way to go! Happy New Year!

Thank you 😊 It is amazing how things CAN change and for me "belief" has not come easy. I can't say belief got me there but a side effect of finally succumbing to the fact that something needed to change. As terrifying as that felt as things began to cook along, and believe me not all good, LOL some unexpected "good" did come to pass.

I was surprised actually, for all of the strain I anticipated I had never honestly considered there would be some good parts, surprises, positives. Hard to explain but those little things began to accumulate and it really added up for my take on things. It does make you wonder what the key (positive) triggers are to moving forward positively. The seeds of optimism I suppose. Luck is a factor I suppose but it made me realize some small things made a big difference. I am and will continue to do my best to carry that forward. Even a few strangers came into my life for a time and offered their help without a single expectation. That blew my mind.

There is no magic pill but I find myself so much happier, content today than I ever would have thought possible at this stage and despite some continueing, possibly permanent "life factors" I'll call them. But I'm even at peace even with that, not entirely sure why but not looking that gift horse in the mouth.

I'm super grateful. Its one of those things too where you can build strength and resilience whereas in the throes of PTSD etc you never get a chance to catch your breath. I look back and don't fault myself for being stuck but then again the initial key for me was to really take the plunge (simply put of course).

I like this thread. It's helping me try and be positive.

I agree, it is a cool thread for the New Year! Good idea @TruthSeeker
Becoming me.
I so get that, it is a wonderful thing to start filling out your own skin so to speak. I have a ways to go but am happy to find some instrinsic part still there and reclaimed.

Starting the journey is tough, but it is worth it. I'm so glad I had started too.

Happy 2022
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Waiting. Frustrated.

I was sick in 2017 & 2018.

Finally able to actually DO something about my life, and the last 2 years of my kid’s high school years, in 2019… and Covid.

So, for me, nothing really changed. Wanting & unable …to… wanting & unable.
As I see it, things have improved some.............you are feeling better than 2017-2018 and not ill like before-but sounds like after that you see it as kind of stagnating three years post illness? So, if things haven't change from 2019-2021, what could you realistically change this year? What would you like to change or do differently in 2022 so you can feel a sense of moving forward or progress?
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Well, I know I said I wanted to be a more social creature....and I got into the conversational Spanish class that starts in 2 weeks! Now, I really enjoyed Spanish and took a semester long conversational Spanish class eons ago, and can read Spanish pretty well, and I'm a long-time friend of the Spanish teacher......which should help my nervousness about going to a class where I know I won't be anything near perfect in my conversation in Spanish because this is a class with ALL levels......I'm hoping for merely adequate..... with my hearing impairment. Yes, now that I'm thinking about it.....arg....hope it's not too frustrating. I keep telling myself, this will be a character building thing to do.
 
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