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Husband cptsd, me too, he is chronically suicidal, blames me, help

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cupfish

Confident
My husband remains suicidal, probably more so now than in the 15 years I know him. What's hard is to hear the blame hurled my way. I don't listen, I want him smiling all the time (no, I just don't want him DEAD), if my job was more successful he'd feel better, and I badger him, and and and.

Guys, I am wreck. I can't stop crying. He says you're a great wife married to the wrong guy. The great wife who constantly irritates him, who has wrecked his life, who does not listen. He acknowledges that my existence as a suicidal spouse is hell, but yet he tells me that my behavior makes him more suicidal.

I don't know what to do. Stay and make him miserable, so he stays suicidal. Leave and he kills himself. HELP ME. I AM IN HELL.
 
no, we are trying to sell our house (his giant trigger) and relocate 1,000 miles away -
when we get settled we can invest in our Ts.
 
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