General Husband Is Triggered By The Neighbor

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My husband is a combat vet that has PTSD from both military service and from being severely bullied in school. He even stated to me that if he never joined the military, he would still suffer from PTSD from school. We’ve been married for over 10 years and have three young kids.

A few days ago, he learned that the neighbor was his former teacher—the teacher he had when he was getting bullied the worst. I’m not sure what the teacher actually knew about the situation, but her actions caused my husband to be bullied even worse, and he basically has extreme hatred towards this woman.

As for the neighbor, she’s 80 years old. We‘ve lived here for two years, and have hardly had a conversation with her. My husband always thought she was familiar, but never put the pieces together until we were chatting at the mailbox and she mentioned she was retired from the school he went to.

Ever since he found out who the neighbor was, my husband has been a complete mess. I’ve never seen him this bad. He tried to get in to a therapist, but it seems they’re all booked up. He‘s been lashing out at me and says I should just leave him. He seems to be oscillating between anger and despair, and I’m kind of at a loss as to what to even do. I feel like he’s trapped in the past.

Personally, I don’t feel that the teacher did anything terribly nefarious, at least not from what he has told me, but he blames her for his PTSD. Where do I even begin with this one? We can’t exactly pick up our bags and move.


There isn’t going to be much you can do except wait on the therapist and ride it out.
Did he blame his teacher for his bullying before he saw her again? Or is this all trigger stuff?


Hi..I can relate in enough ways to say that I know this sucks right now.

We are actually moving because our neighbors have harassed us for three years. There's a court order, they are facing jail time and there's a lawsuit pending.

Both my husband and I have ptsd.
We both broke down yesterday.

It's so difficult. Home is supposed to be comfort and care. And right now he feels raw and attacked. Your husband being the he. He feels unsafe at home. And he feels unsafe in his skin. I agree with the posted above - just want to add. If you can keep posting here for support. Talk to someone you trust who is gentle for support in supporting him right now. Also, make his favorite foods. Dont say much. Just be there for him. It's so hard.

I hope you guys feel better.
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