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Relationship Husband left in the middle of the night

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Erin Lee

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My retired marine (infantry) and I have been going through a rough patch for a few months now - even since his ptsd reared it’s ugly head.

His go-to move when anything gets tough these days - demand a divorce and leave, cutting off all contact... then giving in, talking, coming home, being lovey dovey for a few days and back to the fights.

Our fights are always the same - he is insecure about everything. He has trust issues. Lots of word twisting, etc.

Last week he kicked me and our 18 month old daughter out for 2 days - would have been longer but I literally broke into the house and he ended up leaving. We settled stuff the next day.

Last night when I was sleeping, I woke up to a long text from him accusing me of cheating with his best friend. Not happening. Never would. We do talk, but my husband is aware of that. He informed me in his text that he was leaving (he was already done at this point) and wanted me out of the house when he returned this morning.

I don’t want to leave. It’s my home too. And our daughters - who is currently sick and needs to be home resting.

He is at a therapy appointment today, and I made sure his therapist knew what was going on before his appointment.

Praying his therapist can talk some sense into him. I’m so tired of the back and forth, of the accusations, etc. I love my husband more than life itself and it kills me that he wants to end our marriage over this.
 
Person with the kid stays home, person on their own gets a hotel/ apartment/ etc. Goes double when the person NOT taking care of the kids is in a snit. Much less snit #5,022

Unless

A) It's their place, not both of yours
B) You're done, & want to rent an apartment on your own with your 18mo old, that he has no access to. It's very difficult to call the cops to bar entry to a residence another person has a history of living at without a divorce, or restraining order, or immediate threat to life. But if you rent your own place? That's yours and yours alone. No legal separation, much less divorce, needed. It doesn't sound like you're there, yet, though I could be wrong.
 
I'm so sorry for everything that you and your daughter are going through. My husband just told me about all of his struggles 4 months ago, and just a few days before Thanksgiving we were in divorce court. My 14-year marriage disintegrated in front of my eyes in 4 months. During these four months, it seems like that was my husband's new go to as well- demand a divorce and leave. Unfortunately, he has actually followed through everything. I'm still reeling from all of the awful arguments and horrible things my husband has said to me and accused me of lately. I really don't have any advice for you, except to let you know that you aren't alone. I will tell you what everyone else keeps telling me- we need to keep focusing on ourselves so that we can be the mommies that our babies need us to be through all of this. I haven't quite figured out all of that yet, but I know it's important advice to follow. I think this has been tremendously difficult because I feel like my husband just dumped all of this on me and then left. I had no choice but to pick up the pieces and continue trying to be the mom our son deserves. One day our babies will know just how much we did for them, but until then just continue to love on your little one and take it one day at a time.
 
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