Man this resonates.For some people blowing up another person’s phone is the normal order of things, whilst for others it had better be an emergency.
The phone ringing is a stressor for me. When I exchange numbers with a person, or business, I tell them very clearly that I prefer text or email.
They get a second warning if they start calling for non-emergency situations.
Third time? There's very few personal or professional relationships that have survived that. One exception is a guy with ptsd who is me in reverse - he can't do texts - and we bumble through as best we can.
I know other folks who don't get it. My dad. He's not down with text-etiquette (like if you text someone a question, hang around for the response ).
A lot of people I know are just, Meh! Text, call, shrug, it ain't a thang.
But I know so many people for whom it's a really big thing, like panic attack territory, for all different reasons, and with all different requirements, that it's something to be aware of.
Mobile phones don't necessarily have to suddenly make us available 24/7. Even to loved ones. Do Not Disturb is a clear message: please don't call me right now.
There's an element of basic respect going on there. When you're in a close relationship with someone, and you know this is a big deal for them? You do what you can to accommodate it. And in mutually loving, caring, supportive relationships? That comes pretty naturally.
If stuff like that isn't only not coming naturally, but is just another in a long line of day to day issues that are causing major friction? The question has to be asked, why am I continuing to invest in a relationship that is making me miserable?