Relationship Hypersexuality

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My ex, is a woman (28) who is a womanizer. History of C/A and neglect, clear pattern in my opinion, of constant numbing through activities and always onto the next woman. There are casulties along the way. I can name 7 just this year. She knows herself enough to know shortly after it begins, her feelings will turn off. Unfortunately she also has a diminished sense of empathy, and often justifies the women and the behavior saying they had a good time (which they will have done, essentially they are interacting with a fantasy because she isn't really there if you know what I mean). But then she goes off them and isn't able to behave well in finishing it, usually she will go into someone else and hope they get the message.

I want to tell her to stop, tell her she is spending her hurt on hurting people and it's time to start caring and taking responsibility. Partly my motivation is that I am one of the people she has hurt. The other part of the drama is that she chose to hook up with someone in my home (we still live together in a community). Following this last straw (at the time I was telling her how poor mental health was and how in love with her and hurting I was) I left and asked her to leave (I have lived there 9 years and she one). She has said she won't move. I'm still repairing myself to be able to go back, and I have been away five weeks.

I'm looking for advice, all comments welcome.
 
Sorry your hurting and I can understand why it would be hard to live under the same roof. I’m glad your taking care of yourself and took some time away to regroup. I guess what it comes down to is, can you continue to live in the same house as her? She’s not willing to move out and the only control you have is how your going to deal with that. Hopefully it’ll get easier with time.
 
Boy this is what's going on in our house only it's an adult kid downstairs. But it's a pattern everyone is stuck in, just like you said. The situations look different but actually it's just a reshuffling of people into roles.

Trouble is it's not so easy financially to just walk out of relationships, walk away from family and so on but, I'm so tired of living the pattern over and over. You try and explain it and they just start yelling and telling you you're wrong and blaming you lol.

You know we got married and we both thought we were walking away from our respective pasts. You don't though, it's not that easy. The reasons you were like that follow you and worse, you see them in your children. Generational trauma.

I have the hypersexuality or maybe we both do but we act it out on each other. Sigh. The person you were talking about sounded like a picture I have of me in my head. It seems funny mom and dad in suburbia living out exactly what you are describing in totally different circumstances. Welcome to my cPTSD CSA nightmare. (It's not all bad)

I've dealt with it in the past (girlfriends and relatives) by collecting all their things and putting them in garbage bags and throwing them out in the driveway.
 
Sorry to read you're going through this. She sounds like she may have bipolar or even BPD - though obviously, I am not a mental health pro...Just that someone I love(d)did some very similar things and yet on good days this was the most caring person. But a pattern of short term, mostly abusive relationships (unless those were lies because I now have reason to believe they may have been). Anyway, as difficut as it may be to detach, that's probably your best option. It sucks that you ended up leaving but it might be best not to be around her, if you can help it. Sounds like potentially more trouble. Of course, it's up to you. Or, as someone said, boundaries but in my case, it was hard because the person was very good at dismantling them completely and that's partly my fault but I generally don't have trouble with that. Good luck.
 
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