I don't even know where to start. I fel like I'm going insane. My cptsd comes from being raped and almost murdered. It happened 4 years ago. People tell me I need to get over it. I'm becoming worse, I'm so angry and it's ruining my life. I can't even handle the smallest stresses. I freak out and push people away. I find myself talking to myself out loud in front of strangers, I feel like people are after me. I've faked my death so many times I've lost count. I wish I knew sign language so I wouldn't have to speak. I'm constantly terrified I'm bothering people by existing. I don't want to kill myself I'm not suicidal I'm just emotionally f*cked. I have no friends, I deleted a picture I made on the art app I used to use that got 5.6 million views because I was terrified of being famous. I can't stop thinking. I can't even bring myself to make appointments to help myself. I refuse to make social media accounts because I believe without a doubt that EVERYONE hates me. And when I login to fake accounts and look my old self up and see the horrible comments people make on my old profiles it just makes everything worse. People tell me not to care but I can't help it. I don't trust therapists, I'm convinced they won't help me or give me anxiety meds because they'll think I'm a drug addict. I'm seriously at a loss.