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i’m extremely depressed and i have a wedding to go to

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hi galaxy here,

i’ve been so depressed that i don’t want to do anything and I’ve been getting flashbacks of my csa and emotional abuse.

I’ve been trying to stay away from everyone because im sick of everything at the moment. to cope with the numbness ive been watching cartoons and trying to write music which has been pretty useless.
once my depressive phase kicked in a few days ago i have not been doing anything creative ive been just watching cartoons and asmr videos wrapped up in blankets in bed.

my friend is getting married this week and no one knows about my mental issues ive been having episodes of depression since i was in middle school along with what i believe to be hypomanic episodes in high school.

i just hope i get a hypomanic episode before the wedding so everyone thinks im okay. it’s her special day she doesn’t need to worry about me to be honest.
 
It is hard to reach out when depression is like that. It is great you are here talking about it.

I hope you make it to the wedding. I am a bit of a hopeless romantic, so that romance cheers me up usually. Unless I get that "i'll never be loved" tape playing in my head. But thankfully that is not as much as it used to be.

When is the wedding? Have you already picked your outfit etc?
 
It is hard to reach out when depression is like that. It is great you are here talking about it.

I hope you make it to the wedding. I am a bit of a hopeless romantic, so that romance cheers me up usually. Unless I get that "i'll never be loved" tape playing in my head. But thankfully that is not as much as it used to be.

When is the wedding? Have you already picked your outfit etc?
the wedding is Saturday. i picked out the dress. she wanted navy blue but i personally don’t like the shape of the dress. the store had dresses that didn’t fit me or looked old fashioned. i ordered a nicer one earlier but the mail carrier said the didn’t have it.
 
the wedding is Saturday. i picked out the dress. she wanted navy blue but i personally don’t like the shape of the dress. the store had dresses that didn’t fit me or looked old fashioned. i ordered a nicer one earlier but the mail carrier said the didn’t have it.

Navy blue is cute. I like pastels mostly. I rarely dress up, but sometimes it is nice to just feel good in a nice suite. My sister and nephew are visiting for Easter. That is the next time I will be in a suit.
 
I am, but I know that as it gets closer I will not want to do it. That is just how my mind works. Even though I know I will enjoy brunch with them. All of the guys are going to wear a seersucker suite and a bow tie. I am going to go with either a lavender or salmon shirt.
 
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