I’m fine, i’m fine, i’m not fine

Status
Not open for further replies.

Kopykat

MyPTSD Pro
i have switched meds for depression, started seeing a new psychiatrist who swears they can help. *cracks knuckles* okay lady bring it. She’s nice, she switched my meds, this will be try number 20 something of med combos. I was on Cymbalta for awhile for anxiety, depression and pain and while I was still depressed, I was depressed and somewhat numb. Well I’m off Cymbalta now and now all of a sudden I have feelings again that I don’t know what to do with. I feel I can cry at a moments notice, my anxiety feels like someone is punching my chest. I see her again this week. What I wasn’t prepared for was the suicidal thoughts to come crashing back in like a wrecking ball. I had like a 2 week break and I thought cool things are working and they’re back. And they’re so easy to listen to. I emailed my therapist but it’s like old hat to her now. I’m just frustrated. I feel I will always be depressed (have been since I was 12) and suicidal and then it’s been a shit-tastic year so I just want to be done. Like I tried, I’m just so tired of this crap.
 

Freida

Sponsor
I have feelings again that I don’t know what to do with

Oh I know what you are talking about there! I had a meltdown a few weeks back when I had feelings for the first time in many, many years. It was like being pecked to death by chickens! I couldn't breath, couldn't focus, felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. I came here for help and everyone reassured me that it would pass - and I was sure they were full of crap. But - they were right. Hold on, breathe, do your grounding exercises, keep reaching out and it will pass



Like I tried, I’m just so tired of this crap.
Gotcha there too. Fatigue sucks. It's funny - the fatigue from emotional stuff is so much worse that the fatigue from physical stuff. If only we could explain that to the world.....
But in the meantime let yourself rest and breathe.
 

She Cat

Policy Enforcement
Cymbalta was the only drug that ever helped me. But.... coming off of it taught me to NEVER take another antidepressant......

Feelings aren’t bad, they are real, they are our life, and actually should be dealt with. I know it’s hard. And it sucks, but it’s what we need to do....
 

Kopykat

MyPTSD Pro
I actually came off of Cymbalta ok but I miss it bc it was helping w my pain. Now I’m on Prozac which seems ok. I think I just have milder forms of depression and never remission.
 

MrMoonlight

MyPTSD Pro
I have been on Cymbalta maybe 5-6 months and am currently happy because as you say it manages pain (musculoskeletal, tendons, arthritis..etc), anxiety and depression. The other 20 medications I tried without success until I just gave up. Now I think I'm onto something with Cymbalta but everyone is different.

Hope you can find something that works. edit: oh I see you have found Prozac.. glad it's working.
 

Rain

Policy Enforcement
I have had depression all of my life. It goes away for a little while but it always seems to come back. There was some years that I did not have it nor the anxiety attacks but I have them in spades now and I hate them. I know that we need to accept it and let it flow and pass through us like a cloud but the feelings really hurt so bad at times.

I hear you that you are just plain worn out from the depression and everything that comes along with it. Hang in there, it will pass through you and you will again have some rare moments of feeling good and it will slowly beging to build a momentum. I hope the meds are working for you. Please take very good care of yourself and do all you can to make yourself feel comfortable as often as you are able.

The depression really just plain sucks. I hate that too, but I think we need to come to a place where we quit fighting and resisting it and learn how to slowly accept it as a part of our lives a side effect from our abuse and traumas if you will. It is sure hard to be under it while it lasts but the moments we do begin to gain will help us to feel so very alive and I do not know about you but these moments make my life worth living. Suicide is just not an option for me as I realized that what I really want it to feel some escape from the pain inside. I get real tired of it.

So hang on because you are so worth fighting for. I am sorry for whatever caused you to feel the depression etc. I truly am. But I think it is because you are a beautiful person and have some talents and gifts to share in some way and just allow yourself to please just think and consider what I have said okay? If this is not helpful to you, please disregard.
 

Kopykat

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks @Rain , that actually made me tear up, in a good way. Just struggling a lot now. This week has been the worst so far and as stuff keeps happening I’m just like “you’ve gotta be shitting me”.
 

Rain

Policy Enforcement
This week has been the worst so far and as stuff keeps happening I’m just like “you’ve gotta be shitting me”.

I know and fully understand...it is hell when this stuff just keeps on happening over and over again. I hope that you get some good sleep tonight and feel a little bit better tomorrow hopefully.:hug:
 

tracy jones

Policy Enforcement
Cymbalta was the only drug that ever helped me. But.... coming off of it taught me to NEVER take anothe...
I had similar thoughts coming off cymbalta, it’s horrible to get off of ! The symptoms lasted six months for me, I thought I was going crazy at first, I really think it’s unfortunately a drug that should be taken off the market for that reason, although it does work for some, the withdrawals are dangerous. I agree that antidepressants aren’t a complete solution, and doctors need to try to get patients different treatment before prescribing them, Northern European countries got the right idea, and in 10 or twenty years we will be caught up. In the meantime doctors should be more careful about handing out prescriptions for them! Everyone talks about the addictive medicines but antidepressants can be extremely harmful, and not for everyone, there’s already evidence that there’s a genetic component to this. Wishing you all the strength in the world!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top