It does get better! Your childhood pastor is not indicative of the large majority of pastors. What happened in the past can't be changed. When those thoughts pop up, let them be and the secret is to not engage with them. We may not always be able to choose our thoughts but we have a choice whether we to entertain them or not. Ruminating about this will only energize the thoughts. If you leave them alone, they will go away on their own. We just cannot force thoughts to go away. Again, let them be. Have you tried journaling? This help give you some distance and the issues will not continue to loop in your head. Life lies ahead of you, not behind you. It may sound illogical, but somewhere deep within your soul, you are going to have to forgive this pastor. This is necessary. This will free that pastor from the jail cell of your heart. You are going to make it. You do not have to succumb to the victim vitality. There is a wonderful life waiting for you and that life doesn't wan't to be held back by the past. Yes, my friend, you are going to make it!
