I’m trying, I really am!

JGTRG

Learning
As the title suggest ... I really am trying ... I’m doing everything you could consider helpful in healing, but my internal world just wins every single time.

I’ve had therapy for a while. With the same lady, who was honestly the only therapist I stuck with because I didn’t develop a relationship with none of the others. But now that is coming to an end due to unforeseen circumstances on their end. Which I accept. I’m ok with that and understanding. It’s just the damn feelings of abandonment that follow. I’ve tried contacting a few others but all have waiting lists etc, I’ve put myself on them, but what on earth do I do in the mean time?

The feeling of needing someone and it not being there and knowing it won’t be. This absolutely crushes me and sends me into isolation, survival mode. Can anyone relate to this or am I just alone in this? Definitely dealing with abandonment issues right now.

I feel like I’ve been dropped in the ocean. And I can’t swim against the tide.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Yes I can relate to that. I haven't seen my counsellor in a year! I didn't want to do telephone/video calls that were offered. I deal with alot of isolation like you do. It sucks but that's why I write on here alot and converse with other people on here. It's good that you've put yourself on other therapists waiting lists. It's a waiting game unfortunately. Do you have a trauma diary? If not then maybe consider starting one. It can be very useful so that other people can get to know you and it keeps you occupied. Best wishes S3😊.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
I have abandonment issues also. I was really unwell and people wouldn't help me. Instead they abused and humiliated me. Thanks for that!!! c*nts. Whilst your waiting for a new therapist, is there a Samaritans/!mental health telephone number that you can call?
 

JGTRG

Learning
Yes I can relate to that. I haven't seen my counsellor in a year! I didn't want to do telephone/video calls that were offered. I deal with alot of isolation like you do. It sucks but that's why I write on here alot and converse with other people on here. It's good that you've put yourself on other therapists waiting lists. It's a waiting game unfortunately. Do you have a trauma diary? If not then maybe consider starting one. It can be very useful so that other people can get to know you and it keeps you occupied. Best wishes S3😊.
I did start a diary but I don’t think I was ready to. I kinda just stopped as I was just over run with feelings of shame and vulnerability for doing so. As for your other posts for samartains etc, I do have all of their numbers but I’d prefer virtual stuff. I’ve emailed another therapist about EDMR, I hope he comes back to me soon. The NHS waiting list is 2 years in my area!
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
I did start a diary but I don’t think I was ready to. I kinda just stopped as I was just over run with feelings of shame and vulnerability for doing so. As for your other posts for samartains etc, I do have all of their numbers but I’d prefer virtual stuff. I’ve emailed another therapist about EDMR, I hope he comes back to me soon. The NHS waiting list is 2 years in my area!
I understand. It's not easy to bare all in your threads but there's something cathartic for me personally about getting all that stuff off my chest.

I was referred to NHS (iapt) psychological Services and they refused me. I don't have anything good to say about them.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
If your ok with online therapy then you could always look outside your area aswell because you won't have to travel. I would imagine that alot of counsellors/therapists have free appointments due to covid stopping face to face consultation.
 

JGTRG

Learning
If your ok with online therapy then you could always look outside your area aswell because you won't have to travel. I would imagine that alot of counsellors/therapists have free appointments due to covid stopping face to face consultation.
Thanks S3, I’ll figure something out. In the meantime I’ll just try and be extra nice to myself!
 
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