I am in therapy now, two sessions in, psychotherapy, need guidance

guest200x

New Here
I hope to get some assistance here.

came back from the previous psychotherapy appointment and it was... mixed, the goal of it primarily was to face my feelings and past traumas and memories, bring them to the forfront of my mind and get over them by essentially facing it head on, visual imagery and drawing was available. My therapist noted that this strategy probably wasn't ideal for me, and it's understandable, she and I both agreed I did not feel safe doing this due to the risk of being "re-traumized", although it did seem like she used the word in a less severe sense, as in this itself was part of the process of recovery, whereas that is literally my worst nightmare, and probably the nightmare of many others. She gave me a book called "healing trauma", with a 12 step program, cool, on one page there was the a written interview with Levine and how he unintentionally "shocked" a patient into recovery within one session, I think that's a little extreme, but might be the basis of this form of therapy. I am at the stage now where I am "contained and emotionally safe", but also have 'residual' symptoms and I am shut down emotionally, like the "freezing" type of patient; my case is going to "guidance", so her senior therapist can look at the case and decide if this is the best course of action, I have several sessions.

I got the feeling psychotherapy felt a bit brute forced, I can go through the motions of feeling worse being better but the goal is not "become worse" than my standard baseline, there is from my pov a possibility it could cause some retraumization as my therapist understood. I still felt uncomfortable and honestly I couldn't tell if she was making me uncomfortable on purpose, I doubt it but it felt a bit pushy although she was still nice and all, but it caused a flair up of a fight response with the trembling and then dissociation. I gotta ask, where would you draw the line between "it is what it is" and "too much"? How has your experience been with this and have you found other forms more effective or "safe"?

at the end of the session she asked me in a slightly joking/friendly way, if I would come back or not and continue... ;S
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
I don't understand the type of psychotherapy that she's doing?
I have a mixture of relational transactional analysis, psychotherapy and she does a bit of CBT type stuff too. Psychotherapy, I thought, was more longer term, building relationships etc.
So two sessions in to bring up your trauma and face it, sounds a pretty risky way to process trauma? Idk.

Can you raise all this with her?
How do you want therapy to go? Do you want it how she does it?
Is she trauma trained?

Processing trauma is a horrible process. It does get worse before it gets better, I think. But I think you can tell if it's retraunatising or processing. Sometimes only after the event. And even good T 's can retraumatise us. I think my T is great, but I've been retraumatised in session with her. We both learnt from that and it hasn't been repeated.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
to my engineer's logic, psychotherapy of any stripe is a gigantic leap of faith. when in doubt, i err on the side of trusting my therapist. ugh. . . why is it so hard to trust? i leave myself free to question and express my doubts but i try to give my therapist the benefit of any doubt.

steadying support while you sort what works best for you.
 

guest200x

New Here
I have a mixture of relational transactional analysis, psychotherapy and she does a bit of CBT type stuff too.
sounds cool, hope it works out well for you.
an you raise all this with her?
How do you want therapy to go? Do you want it how she does it?
Is she trauma trained?

Processing trauma is a horrible process. It does get worse before it gets better, I think. But I think you can tell if it's retraunatising or processing. Sometimes only after the event. And even good T 's can retraumatise us. I think my T is great, but I've been retraumatised in session with her. We both learnt from that and it hasn't been repeated.
*this will be a bit of a long post*
I did raise it she noted I was uncomfortable, I also talked to a close associate of mine, a family member about it, they listened said they were probably just human too it wouldn't have been unethical, and I should go to the next one, but yeah the therapist literally asked me if I'd want to go back, she's is on my side I feel. She seemed quite knowledgeable and does want to help I think. Psychotherapy seems like the "balls in your court" sorta thing, I mean it did seem like i was doing most of the talking or work.

I did feel a bit shaken (like uncomfortable with answering questions) after the session, it's very much a psychological thing where when I am better I'll know I am better. She has does trauma work and knows about grounding and that, it just felt like I was explained myself a bit much... she just wants to know what I want to get out of it, I think we'll work on boundaries next session, but didn't know exactly what we were working with, I think this is more related to like a milder c-ptsd/emotional shock thing as opposed to a singular traumatic event but labels don't matter here it's what happened.

My most powerful tool atm for this and having a decent day is living in the present, mindfulness/

This is just a starting point as it was difficult enough to even be signed on; apparently my symptoms fit into the healthy range but the scoring system was based on the general anxiety/depression/capability that it impacts your daily functioning
 
Top