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I am, kind of, retarded

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Society loves to attach cruel labels and definitions to whom or what "we" are "supposed" to think we are. Every single one of us has our own level, our own value, our own being. One person's gift may be kindness. Or insight. Or being a great "Mum" or Grandmum. But in our world today value is attached to quantifiable items like net worth or bank accounts or job titles by people that feel the need to flaunt their egos. The important values and good things are more and more thrown by the wayside. And accusing somebody of being "slow" or "retarded" is a bullies' malicious way of causing harm and trying to disarm and strip away those good qualities that make you a truly wonderful person and someone truly of worth.
There is a short video that means everything to me. It is of seven autistic children running a footrace around a track during a Special Olympics event. As they round the final turn and run toward the finish line, one of them collapses motionless before the finish line. The other six, in unison, without so much as even a seed of doubt, all stop in their tracks, turn around, and return to their fallen companion. All six of them struggle to help him to his feet, and then move as one being, 14 gawky arms and 14 gawky legs all wrapped together to cross the finish line as one. No concept of labels. No winner. No loser. 7 happy, sweaty, satisfied, spent kids. It makes me cry.
As I gaze around "our" world - - - at the road rage, the backstabbing, the greed and petty squabbling - - - I often think that perhaps they are the lucky ones. If I had the choice, which would I consider what really is "normal" and which is "retarded"? And which role do I really aspire to in life???
So. Please. Don't do labels. I see beauty in the good people. Those who have raised good children. Those who have struggled under cruel bullies. Those who seek to understand their hurt. And get beyond it.
I haven't read through the entire thread but I wanted to offer thoughts...…. I'll finish reading when my disjointed attention span allows. Many would say this makes me "dumb" or "A.D.D." or would choose to cruelly attach some form of "label" to me. So that they could feel better. Or important. Or superior.
The ROAR of those voices today is "white noise" that I so rarely hear or feel anymore. Thousands of repetitions: "I'm just me. I'm just me...… I am fine, I am fine...…."
And I am. I am.
I hope you will be too. I hope you will be too.... I hope.... I hope..... (becomes I am....I am....)
May you find healing and peace of mind that you deserve.

This is a very beautiful post @GrayOwl .I love the reality check that you've provided for me, and other's, here.
I loved the story about the runner's. I relate to them, a lot.
I. often, feel, more comfortable, with autistic people, than non autistic people. My SO is also on the spectrum.

. It's become a passion of mine, to learn and develop skills that I can then use to help and support, other autistic people to be, and feel, included, as the world is often daunting and too perplexing for us non neurotypicals and loneliness is one of the hardest things, to bare, I've found.
Hence the sense of "not enough" , not "normal" "odd" and "unacceptable" I'm actively attempting to dispell.
 
I question my ability to survive this virus and i'm 1000x healthier than him.

Hootie hoo Innordinate.

While you question your abilty to survive... I question why al la Soylent Green if they took volunteers … why I would, if I could prevent the suffering of 900-1000 families.

Both are most likely a personal response to an epic situation.
 
I just wanted to say that I think that people are just trying to figure things out as they go along and they really don't know what they are doing, just some are better at faking it than others are. This of course is only my opinion, but one I have accepted as I have gotten a bit older. And I think we are all a bit special and need help with things especially if we were not given the chance to learn.

When I would tell her that "I didn't know", my mom used to say to me, "I always just figured you knew" to which I would reply, "Mom where would I have learned it ?" Anyways I got what is known as fibro fog and my mind gets muddled, but again I am just pretending to adult most of the time anyways!!!

As for being normal that seems to be a negative thing to my mind and so I don't want anything to do with it!! :)
Still, I hope you are able to deal effectively with the distorted thought... I haven't had the chance to read all of the responses, but hope things get clearer for you. wishing you the best,
Lion
 
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