I Am Not Dealing Well

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Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
Have you tried Adult Coloring Books? Or maybe knitting or crocheting? Reading a good book also gets one out of it sometimes and then there is watching TV or going out for a walk. Try some grounding techniques too. If you don't know any, try Googling that last.
 

lostforgottensoul

MyPTSD Pro
Try some grounding techniques too. If you don't know any, try Googling that last.

I have grounding techiques bookmarked and ive tried a lot of them (some I cant do) and none are working, for very long anyway.

Reading a good book

Im dyslexic so reading is rather frustrating. I do have a book called Risin' Strong that I need to read but I dont know if now is a good time to. I dont know, maybe.

Or maybe knitting or crocheting?

Yep, cant seem to be able to learn how. My neighbor turned best friend turned roommate back when I was 18 taught me how to crochet a simple line and then how to connect them, so I tried to go into a circle which was a bad circle and it wouldnt lay now like a cup coaster but it looked more like a finger warmer lol. I can pick it back up, im just horrible at it. All of my chains are different sizes too. I eventually made an ok chain with yarn that was tight sort of like rope but that was about it.

Have you tried Adult Coloring Books?

Not yet. I saw walmart has them, like a tight design to color in. I used to color in children's coloring books at work adding shading and light to them with the crayons back when I was 23, 24, in that area when I first moved to the mid northern State and had made good friends with a co-worker and I could call her that as shes the only one that still spoke to me afterwards.

Anyways, she uses to get mad because mine always looked 10 times better than anyones because im an artist lol. There were a few that was coloring between calls. I guess the adult ones that have those tight designs are better as there way more to color. I'll put it on my shopping list for Thursday. Not sure if Walmart is opened Monday but im not wanting to go anywhere then anyway. I stop by walmart on Thursday because I pass it on my way home from my therapist's.

watching TV or going out for a walk.

Watching tv is generally my 'go to' but sometimes it doesnt keep my attention and have to rewind or restart it like 5 times as Im not paying attention to it and getting lost in my mind.
 
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Just Sayin'

Learning
I am so not dealing, with anything well. I feel like im going to hyperventalate my self to d...

@lostforgottensoul, you might be lost, but you're not forgotten.

I would love to tell you that I understand. But, I don't. I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling.

If it's god's prerogative to forgive, it's between her and god ... if there is one and if he/she/it forgives her.

Her disapointment is not more valid than your pain. Her not being disappointed is not more important than you being okay.

I haven't been in your position, but I have experienced death. It doesn't clear financial debts -- that's why there's probate. I personally don't believe it clears emotional ones either.

Your dad might just be doing the best he can. He might believe he's right, and he might be doing the only thing he knows to do to try to get closure and peace for everyone. He might also be mistaken -- you know you and what you can bear best. I'm sorry that you're experiencing resistance and pressure as you make decisions for yourself with your best interest first. I think it takes courage to do that. I think it that's something to be proud of.

I'm sorry you're feeling alone and betrayed and that your experiences are that people are scary.

I hope for better things for you, and I'll keep you in my thoughts. For whatever it's worth, I support your decision to do what's best for you. I would feel abandoned in your position too. I think most people would.

Please take care of yourself.
 

lostforgottensoul

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks @Just Sayin'! I think he honestly thinks he's right and has a right to tell me im wrong. He has a weird sense of christianity too where some of what he thinks is no where in the Bible or even condtradicts whats in the Bible and when i confront hom with it, he tries to explain it away. Im very confused on that front but even Satanists read the Bible.

I dont feel he has the rest of the family's agenda, to hurt me, but he is still lost in their world and drank their koolaid, their bullshit. He said my sister has a right to hold resistment against me....but dosnt that go against your bible? Being 'saved' so not responsible, against the Bible and the law of the land. She might be saved thus forgiven by "god" but that doesnt make her not responsible and if she really "got saved" then she would want to make amends with me and make things right and so she doesent.

Sure, anyine can be forgiven by "god' but she is still responsible!
 
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parents create the strongest culprint in our mind....it all depends how lucky you are....you get good or bad parents.....it is a fate....
 

lostforgottensoul

MyPTSD Pro
it is a fate

Horrible fate.

She passed on the 23rd and even without all the drama im still not doing well. One or two second flashes that makes me loose my balance. Anxiety is insanely high. Waking up every night soaked in sweat. Last night I ate a muffin and got insanely nauseous and started to sweat like it was 100 degrees. Was crazy.

Its hard to make sense of anything or get a handle on anything.

Actually talking politics is helping (believe or not). I think its a bit of a distraction and it always helps to focus my mind on something rather than it being free reign to go everywhere at once. And im rather open minded in that area, so that helps.
 
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