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I am not enough and this post is wrong

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Muttly

MyPTSD Pro
My latest life issues are mostly self created so I have no right to complain or need help
I have needed and gotten help in the past so that proves I am too needy and a burden
Making a post or talking to friends about what is going on proves that all I do is complain
Making a post or talking to friends about what is going on puts a burden on others because then I'm draining their energy or manipulating people into giving me help
Because of my cognitive disabilities and mental health issues, I've always had problems and have long since used up any right to help and support.
I should just suck it up, life is hard. Everyone goes through hard times and I am not special or unique.
I must want the crap that happens in my life otherwise I wouldn't keep getting hurt, sick, etc, etc etc
I shouldn't be making this post because I'm manipulating folks here
I shouldn't be making this post because I can't manage to read any posts and give any support
I always take way more than I give
I started off defective and have to make up for that, and the only way I can do that is to give.
My only value is in what I give to others
I don't give enough... I am and have never been enough
 
The only part of this post that is true is the second half of the title. "This post is wrong" is entirely correct, because everything else is wrong.

You're an extremely valued AND LOVED member of this community. Are ALL of us wrong about you? Or could it be your self-perception?

:hug: I'm really sorry you're struggling with this. You don't deserve to feel this way at all.
 
I'm not enough

I hate that you are feeling this way. You are enough and deserve support no matter how much you are able to give. That particular core belief is really difficult. There are two way to fight core beliefs but can only remember one right now. Positive affirmations combat core beliefs.

I have written on my bathroom mirror "I am enough", I try to read it along with four or five other affirmations daily.

sorry muttly
 
If I shoot myself in the foot (I mean literally, not metaphorically), should I just leave it be?

Nah, right?
The fault and all are so secondary, if ever relevant, when one needs help, first.
So it is good to hear of you, and good on for seeking help, too. :)

How does needing help prove you are a burden, exactly? I just see a person who needs help, time to time... same as everyone.

No one is obligated to anything, so you are not manipulating anyone. Last I noticed you were not in the same room with me, making me type this... although I would loove if you were in the same room, we mighta have a delish berry tea I bought recently, together. :hug:

Life hard is all the more reasons to reach out. Teamwork makes it easier.*

*... and if it doesn't, I want my money back. For more tea.
 
I sort of ran away from this thread. I don't know. As kind and helpful as the replies are in a way it just makes me feel worse. (So, why am I posting again?). Then again, maybe that's how challenging core beliefs works? Because that's what most of those thoughts are.

And when I was 6 or so I had a school therapist. He was supposed to help me with my low self-esteem. I gave me affirmations. My mom was mad that the school said I had low self-esteem. That reflected badly on my parents and that was wrong. They were great parents. So everyone was telling me I had to have good self-esteem and I learned to say what everyone wanted. No one listened to me, when I talked about the real shit going on in my life - bullying, learning disabilities, etc. I was just supposed to focus on the positives. And that therapist... someone else inside holds the memories but when we saw him it just wasn't affirmations. we had to touch him too. happy and hide everything. that's how weve gotten through life.

ugh ugh not sure why we saying this. lost the narrative of whatever we were gonna say
 
lost the narrative

I think I am following: trusting good things or hopeful things feels bit empty, because it is in every case a facade that does not really help with the actual gutter you are dealing with.

And you are either betraying what others see in you (it feels like), or yourself, so a no win situation either way...?

So if I am reading right: pinkie promise you are not letting people down by not being well.
 
@Ronin yes, you summed up what's going on very well.

I appreciate the pinkie promise. I'm just in this rut of feeling like I'm not enough for anyone. And if that's the case, I certainly can't add to the burden by having problems. Hmmm... I know that's twisted up thinking
 
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