1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The Daily Dose

Get the last 24hrs of new topics delivered to your inbox.

Click Here to Subscribe

Sufferer I am not my illnesses. childhood-present day trauma.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by turkishfrankk7, Oct 6, 2017.

  1. turkishfrankk7

    turkishfrankk7 New Member

    It was at the fresh age of 3 that the sexual abuse began, it wasn't until 5 that I was completely taken, up until just over 7. After exposing the events to my mother, it was then the verbal and physical abuse started from her and my stepfather. Until I moved out at the age of 18. It was a year after that I got into a toxic relationship for over a year and a half. It was a hostage type relationship. Multiple daily threats to end my life. Verbal, Emotional, Mental, Physical abuse. I couldn't speak full sentences until about 6 months after I left. (2013) Though my childhood was horrifying, that relationship was the worst of the trauma. After these events I found myself in a horrible trance of escaping and substance abuse. To the point where I overdosed and almost lost my life, twice. With having the drinking and drugging problem I found myself surrounded by bad people and have been beaten and raped. It was in late 2011 when that relationship began and in early 2013 I was diagnosed with my mental illnesses. PTSD, GAD, Panic Disorder, and Depression. Since, I have stayed out of long term relationships in hopes to grow and lessen the triggers and the daily symptoms. My tactics have helped tremendously to where I have only about 15-25 panic attacks a year. I am here in hopes to bring guidance and also receive guidance. Though this year has been profound for me, recently (the last 2 months) I have found it being rather difficult to juggle reality with my illnesses. Especially because for the first time in over 4 years I have lived with a man, and in a serious relationship. I need more support and understanding friends. My boyfriend is great but he has issues as well and is constantly thinking he did something wrong, that he has upset me, that I am upset in general or even sometimes that I am punishing him with my being. More so when i am hyper vigilant, dissociated. Help?

    I should mention, he was in a past abusive relationship directed towards him and that is why he believes I could possibly be punishing him because his ex girlfriend used to.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 6, 2017
    Paradox and AnD like this.
  2. Register to participate in live chat, PTSD discussion and more.
  3. Tornadic Thoughts

    Tornadic Thoughts I'm a VIP

    Welcome to the community. You've found a space to absorb support and release worries. I hope you find some helpful support, ideas, and experiences to assist you in seeking relief. You're definitely not alone.
  4. turkishfrankk7

    turkishfrankk7 New Member

    i should reiterate, I no longer abuse any substances and haven't in 3 years, I still drink on occasion but its triggering the following days so I don't typically do it as often. I discovered myself and worth and ended that cycle.
    +littlebird likes this.
  5. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    Welcome to myptsd! :)
Show Sidebar