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Undiagnosed I am not sure but I am starting to think I may have pstd.

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abovedown

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I am not sure but I am starting to think I may have pstd. My life is mostly ok, I have friends, home, a loving family and so on. But I feel like I am constantly in hell mentally speaking. I am on my guard and my mind is looking for signs of danger even if I am just sitting in my couch.I think this is due to the fact I was abused by an older boy when I was a pre-schooler. I continued living but I was bullied in my school later on so it took a long time for me to get more self-confidence and friends.

When I was in my late teens I had mental breakdown and I become suicidal. After an unsuccessful suicide attempt I got the help I needed and although I still have a lot of anxiety, I haven't been suicidal anymore.

I still struggle with self-confidence at times and tend to blame myself for a lot of things that I objectively recognize aren't my fault.

My current struggle is related to war in another country. The flood of war material has caused me a lot more trauma and as I am sometimes afraid that the war might come here although it seems somewhat unlikely at the moment. The country I live in has a pretty strong army for its size and I think we will get international help if needed. I have has an issue with doomscroling which I am trying to let go with the help of a therapist.

I am looking for ways to deal with my trauma and with the help of others to move on with my life.
 
Welcome to the site! I am sorry about the reason you have found the need for a place like this! Multiple traumas are hard to deal with, but you are working with a therapist, so you are doing the right thing!

There’s tons of information and tools to be found here, along with friendly and compassionate interactions.

Being able to come here and write in my “diary” is a way to document my ups and downs along with others who do the same thing. I have been a member 10+ years and feel comfortable saying this is an awesome place

Blessings of peace and comfort sent your way!
AKJ
 
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