FluffyBubbles
New Here
Hi, hoping this is the right place for me.
I'm a 36yr old female living in the UK, I suffered a lifetime of abuse (mental, physical, sexual) and conditioning from early childhood, first memory is around 2yrs old, I had shut it all out and forgotten it all until 4yrs ago when pandoras box was opened. I guess the healing part of my journey began from there, I was diagnosed/misdiagnosed with autism.
I've not been in a good place for the past two months, lots of realizations and the constant belief 'I can't do all this, there's too much, it's really a lot f*cking worse than I thought'. I have absolutely no support and find it so hard to speak up or reach out, when I do I give people (organisations, social workers, businesses, friends) the bare minimum and I'm met with 'I'm really sorry you're in this situation but I don't know what to do to help' then they leave... it's frustrating and soo disappointing.
I've tried lots of different therapies but nothing currently and no medications.
I live in a small overcrowded house with my 5 children, in a town where I don't really know anyone and don't have the social skills or time to build relationships.
I have no idea who I am, what I want and never have.
Hardest thing I'm dealing with at the moment is - realisations I'm a walking talking preprogrammed trauma response, absolutely everything about me and my personality is just trauma response, so like where do I go from here guys?
I'm a 36yr old female living in the UK, I suffered a lifetime of abuse (mental, physical, sexual) and conditioning from early childhood, first memory is around 2yrs old, I had shut it all out and forgotten it all until 4yrs ago when pandoras box was opened. I guess the healing part of my journey began from there, I was diagnosed/misdiagnosed with autism.
I've not been in a good place for the past two months, lots of realizations and the constant belief 'I can't do all this, there's too much, it's really a lot f*cking worse than I thought'. I have absolutely no support and find it so hard to speak up or reach out, when I do I give people (organisations, social workers, businesses, friends) the bare minimum and I'm met with 'I'm really sorry you're in this situation but I don't know what to do to help' then they leave... it's frustrating and soo disappointing.
I've tried lots of different therapies but nothing currently and no medications.
I live in a small overcrowded house with my 5 children, in a town where I don't really know anyone and don't have the social skills or time to build relationships.
I have no idea who I am, what I want and never have.
Hardest thing I'm dealing with at the moment is - realisations I'm a walking talking preprogrammed trauma response, absolutely everything about me and my personality is just trauma response, so like where do I go from here guys?