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I am reading and posting here

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Mach123

MyPTSD Pro
Hi I am reading and posting here and this is a giant accomplishment for me because now I am getting the insight and experience of others. It has been about two years (probably longer) of trying to look at stuff online. I just couldn't do it. Everything was such a big secret and when people were talking about it, when I was reading it I guess I just would get triggered all over the place and I'd be like "I hate this they are all so schmaltzy sending each other hugs and stuff." lol! Then God forbid if I posted anything and someone replied I'd be like off the wall. Then I'd go away and not look at it for a couple months. I always got the emails though. I don't know when I first started doing that.

Then a couple weeks ago I read a post and I was like "Oh man that's me." It was exactly the same kind of thing. I knew the feelings so well and I started posting you know.

So what this is telling me I think is I'm in a different place now. I guess so, because I have three devices on and all of them are logged onto this board and I am walking back and forth reading them. I think I've done this before and it blew up in my face but right now I'm thinking I was wrong it didn't blow up, I did. Maybe this time I won't.

Thanks everyone
 
I remember feeling afraid to post and chat. I felt I would be judged, but I never have been judged on this site. There have been a couple incidents where some person would come on the site looking to start a fight or something, but the moderators were quick to take action and reassure any of us who may have been affected.

PTSD affects everyone differently, but we still have a lot of things in common. When I found myself being triggered, I knew I needed to work on my grounding skills. What was nice was if I found myself being triggered while on chat, I could state the fact and other members would remind me of how to ground and handle the flashbacks. I have learned a lot from other members here and it has helped accelerate my healing process according to my therapist.

I'm happy you are able to come back and share with others on the site. It brings comfort and hope to others. Thank you!
 
Writing is really helpful. Right from the beginning of therapy they were after me to write and write or journal and I just couldn't. I couldn't make an actual written record of my thoughts and feelings. A hard copy. Just since I've been bouncing stuff around in here though it is helping sort things out in my mind. I know there are probably many people here lurking. I think I was lurking for about four years. It has to happen in it's own time though. I remember like fifteen years ago trying to talk about it and I couldn't. It has to ripen. You have to be ready.
 
Maybe when you are ready, you might consider doing a trauma diary here on the forum?!?!? When you're ready!!!
 
Maybe when you are ready, you might consider doing a trauma diary here on the forum?!?!? When you're re...
What is a trauma diary on the forum? I don't think I will ever be able to do anything like that. After my husband died, I found an old journal of his from when he was in college and the things in there were so traumatic for me I can't bear the words diary and journal and such. But I am curious what it is, how it is done here.
 
@provencepearl There are member diary's here on the forum, they are the trauma diaries in the PTSD CPTSD section!!! It's where members write about their trauma. It's exposure therapy basically. Tough to start, but it works if you keep at it.
 
Hi!
When I first started coming here, I was a lurker for a bit. I've always had a hard time writing about my thoughts and feelings. I would try journaling, but it ended up being what I did that day, or just a running commentary versus my feelings. I tend to read other's posts, and offer encouragement to them, depending on whether I thought understanding words would help.

I have a trauma diary, but kept leaving it bare for a couple years, then trying again. It had to be reopened, but this time, I have tried to stick with it, and it has been easier to post my feelings. I think it was a process. There is a lot that I will probably never be able to write about, but I do learn a lot from other people's posts.

Blessings to you all,
AKJ
 
@provencepearl There are member diary's here on the forum, they are the trauma diari...
Thank you. That doesn't quite tell me what I am looking for.

Just the word diary is traumatic for me as I found husband's journal from his college days after he died. The things he did in college were horrible. Had I seen that before marriage, I never would have married him.

How private are the diaries? What is the purpose?
 
@provencepearl They are called TRAUMA DIARIES. Just look on the forum page and you will find it. They are to write about your trauma and how you feel now and how you feel about your trauma. They can also just be used for daily crap that you struggle with. I'm not sure why you want to know, because you said you can't read that stuff because it upsets you to much....
 
How private are the diaries? What is the purpose?
There are three types of Trauma Diary on the forum
Those in the Trauma Diaries forum have the lowest level of privacy - they are viewable by guests (public) as well as members and are searchable by search engines
Those in the Trauma Diaries (members) forum are available to all members - they are not searchable outside of this site and can only be viewed by other members
There is a third diary available to premium members which is a private diary only viewable by yourself and admin. They cannot be viewed by other members.

Please open a help ticket if you have any more questions rather than take this thread off topic, thanks.
 
I see the posts in the diaries and I don't read them usually. I don't know why really. They have a different feel than the threads that just get started, IDK. I have been sitting in front of the computer about three weeks now doing this like every day lol. Yesterday on and off I really did it all day (between laundry and cooking I have to earn it somehow you know lol.) It's been very helpful and things are really moving but it's not very comfortable right now. Every therapist I ever had said "write write write" so it must be good. : )
 
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